“Hey Shay, i’m still a virgin, but recently my boyfriend and I are trying to have sex.
The first time he tried to penetrate was painful but i was sort of expecting that. But now it’s been a few weeks, and we have tried several times but the pain is too much for me to bear. And in my head i’m thinking that he is too big, so in my own time i’m trying to get ‘accustomed’ to a larger size. However, while trying it out on myself with something that really isnt much thicker or bigger than he is, i’ve realised that the pain isn’t actually my hymen as the pain is from the top of the vagina opening not the bottom. Should i be worried? Or is it all in my head? Because to be honest, i do doubt that its my hymen thats causing the problem. If you can help that would be great! And i’m sorry if this type of question has been posted before… i’m new to your blog and very impressed by it (not to mention learning alot too). Thanks Shay :)“
I think your instincts are correct, it probably isn’t your hymen that’s bothering you. There is a bone in your pubic area and some cartilage at the top of your vagina, so that could be what you’re hitting. I’ve had similar trouble if I don’t take the time to get properly warmed up before I test out some of the thicker toys I’ve reviewed. Usually if you take the time to get really relaxed and turned on, things become more flexible and you should have less trouble/pain.
Check out some of my posts for first timers HERE because there might be some other useful advice for you there as well. ^_^
I hope that helps. If you do keep finding sex painful after a few more attempts, you could try asking your doctor/gynecologist to see if they have any other ideas for you.
Just wanted to help out. Oddly I discovered this site today. If the painful penetration persists.. here’s a site that might help http://www.vaginismus.com/
It is also important to realize that many young girls nowadays get their sexual information from sex pics and porn. So they don’t even know about basic things like: Women can (and need to be) turned on for sex. Vaginas get wet, in fact they a vagina must be wet for non-painful intercourse. The list of lacking basic knowledge goes on and on.
The style in which the original message was written, suggests that the writer doesn’t know even basic things about her own body and how it works. So my first thought was: Maybe it would be good to make sure the basic knowledge about human biology is known and understood, before suggesting some serious disorders and malfunctions.
I am sure: With some reading and learning, catching up about herself, practice and communication, this problem will soon be overcome. Good luck!
http://www.vaginismus-awareness-network.org Here’s another site. This one doesn’t sell anything and is packed with information on painful sex and the different causes and the different treatments. Good luck.