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Hi, I'm Shay.

Welcome to The S Spot!

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Prostate Play

A few weeks ago I received an e-mail from a reader saying, “Love to see an article on the Prostate gland. I taught my g/f how to milk my gland and she does it regularly for me. I think men have an aversion to this because she has to go through my asshole to get there, and some guys might think that is gay or something….boy are they missing out!

I covered the female “G-spot” last week, so it’s only fair that this week we spend some time on the male “P” spot. As you might have guessed “P-spot” is another pop culture term, but since we’re all too cool for that, let’s use its real name: the prostate gland.

The prostate gland is a pretty important gland for the fellas; it’s about the size of a golf ball and contributes 30% of the fluid in semen. It also has smooth muscles that propel the little guys into the urethra to prepare for ejaculation.

If you’re doing a dissection, you’ll find the prostate wrapped around the urethra somewhere between the bottom of the bladder and the start of the penis.

If you’re looking to play, you’ll find it about two inches up inside the male rectum. [This is also where your doctor will find it, when he’s checking to make sure that you don’t have something icky like cancer, prostatitis, or BPH (benign prostatic hyperplasia).]

A man’s prostate is full of nerves. Nerves are good because when you are able to stimulate them properly they can make you feel very very good.

Many men, yes straight guys too, really enjoy having their prostate massaged. They claim to experience all kinds of nice things like super intense orgasms and/or orgasms that last a really long time. Enjoying having your ass/prostate stimulated doesn’t make you gay, enjoying sex with men does (and even this is a bit of a grey area).

Whether you’re a gay or a straight man, the physiology of your bum is going to be pretty much the same – unlike the equivalent Skene’s glands in women. All men have a prostate that could be full of un-tapped pleasure potential.

Now I know what your next big question is – how are you supposed to stimulate your prostate? Well read on my friends, read on.

First of all, trim and file your nails and then wash your hands. If you don’t think you can or don’t want to massage your prostate yourself, have your partner trim and file their nails and wash their hands too.
Some men feel more comfortable if they go to bathroom and take a shower/bath before play time. You’ll also want the room you’re in to be warm and cozy, maybe dim the lights a little.

Then, get yourself horny (in case you weren’t already)! Going along with making the room warm and cozy – this experience is supposed to feel sexy, not like it’s a visit to the doctor’s office (unless doctor’s offices get you off). So put on your favourite porn and masturbate a little, or play with your partner: make out, have them stroke your cock, etc.

Next, grab the latex gloves that you swiped from the lab (or bought at the pharmacy) and put them on, or have your partner put them on. If you’ve decided to use a pliable g-spot/p-spot dildo or a butt-plug instead, wash it too and slip it into a condom.
Then lube everything up! Use a silicone or water-based lube like liquid silk or K-Y jelly – and keep it handy.

Get comfortable. If you’re alone you might have to wiggle around a little to get yourself into a position where you can easy access your anus; try squatting, laying on your side, or on your back. If you’re with a partner, you should get into a position where you are standing or kneeling with your hips squared and your butt pushed out and up; this will give them easier and more comfortable (for you) access to your prostate.

You’re going to want to ease into this – no stabbing a finger right in there – it’s a good idea to start with a little massage. Your perineum is located between your balls and your anus, and is a great place to start your massage, slowly work your way to your anus using a rhythmic, circular motion.

When you feel ready, add more lube and have your partner rest the pad of their finger against the pucker of your bum. Relax and have them ease their finger inside, sometimes it helps to time it with a breath out – remember to breathe deeply.

Once inside, you might want to rest for a moment to get used to the sensation before you continue. After you give the okay, your partner’s finger can start to explore, pulling out to re-lube as necessary.

You should be in constant communication with your partner, telling them what feels good, when you need them to slow down, if you want them to apply more pressure, when they need to re-lube, if you’ve had enough, or when you feel like you’re going to explode!

About two inches in, they should be able to find your prostate, it will feel firm and the surface will feel like it’s around the size of the tip of your nose. Have your partner explore the surface of your prostate and play around with different amounts of pressure. Some men like constant pressure, some like more of a massage, and some like vibrations; experiment to find out which you prefer.

But don’t forget about the guy in front!
While prostate massage can feel really great, most men prefer to pair it with having their penis played with as well. This could mean jerking yourself off while you or your partner massages your prostate, or your partner could use their other hand to stroke you, OR you could get a comfortable butt-plug or flat-based toy that you can leave in while you masturbate or have sex as usual.

Prostate massage can be a great way to get to know your body better and experience something new – not to mention the reported mind blowing orgasms.
Whether you are straight or gay, can you honestly tell me that you wouldn’t want to know what it’s like to cum harder/better/differently?


If you don’t have gloves but want a finger prostate massage, DON’T use plastic wrap, which can easily rip. Slip your finger inside a condom instead.

Take it slow, there’s no rule saying that you HAVE to make it into your bum the first time you start experimenting. If a perineum and anus massage is the furthest you get the first couple of times, that’s fine. Only go as far as you are comfortable with.

Have fun kids!

Read up on how to massage your prostate without putting something up your bum HERE.


Comment from DZER
Time March 20, 2007 at 10:33 am

that post had me prostrate!

Comment from Lou
Time March 20, 2007 at 3:06 pm

Great, informative and…”spot-on” post :-)

Comment from Gadfly
Time March 20, 2007 at 9:57 pm

As soon as I turned 40, I went and got a female doctor. I’m old school about a guy putting his finger in my ass :-(

But she’s actually kind of cute.

“sure we don’t need to do the prostate thing again, doc? I think it’s been feeling a little off lately”

PS: the last bit was a joke, but it had to be done ;-)

PPS: Now that Peter North is getting a bit older, I keep expecting his prostate to break free from his body and lay waste to Tokyo.

Comment from Cain
Time March 21, 2007 at 2:51 am

I love the way you write, “…the pucker of the bum.”

~~Shay, you are too cute. Love ya!


Comment from Cain
Time March 21, 2007 at 2:53 am

’scuse me! “…your bum”


Comment from Shay
Time March 25, 2007 at 7:09 pm

Dazer – excellent, now I have you right where I want you ^_~ mwa haha

Lou – thanks ^_^

Gadfly – now that is a hilarious image! lol

Cain – Thanks ^_^

Comment from Anonymous
Time March 25, 2007 at 9:55 pm

so hot

Comment from exile
Time March 26, 2007 at 7:23 am

there they are!

man, your keys are always in the last place you look…

Comment from Erotic and Sensual
Time December 29, 2007 at 3:27 am

My wife and I enjoy doing this. We both love anal sex, recieving and giving.

Enjoy reading your blog.

Comment from WD
Time July 18, 2008 at 7:46 pm

Good article.

I’d like to add a couple things. First, anal play goes much better if the rectum is empty and clean–that is, after a bowel movement, an enema, and a thorough but gentle washing. You will feel more at ease knowing your partner will not encounter anything unpleasant, and your anus will be softer and more relaxed for the loving to come.

Before I play with my own anus, or if there’s a chance that my wife will, I use either a bulb-type enema or a disposable one, the kind you find at the drugstore. With the latter type, I suggest removing the little paper valve inside the syringe, which makes it harder to inject the water. Don’t use the fluid those disposables come with; use ordinary water. Of course, use lubricant, and inject and purge two or three times. Cleaning up like this is a kind of foreplay for the main event, making you feel receptive and craving penetration.

Also, gloves aren’t necessary if your partner’s fingernails are short and dull, and if he or she is careful. One of you might prefer using a glove (you might even find it sexy, if playing doctor is a favorite fantasy) but my wife and like the feeling of direct contact, which adds to the incredible intimacy.

Finally, it is worth saying that while prostate massage is great, so too is the sensation of penetration, along with the psychological aspects involved when a woman penetrates a man. Sometimes what I want is a finger going in and out, not direct prostate stimulation. I also love the different positions for receiving anal stimulation, such as on my back, bent over a piece of furniture, or best of all, face down on the bed with my bottom lifted and my legs spread. My wife starts by licking my balls for a while, then licking my anus, then applying the lube and inserting her finger. That is my definition of heaven, moaning while she takes my ass, making me feel that our roles have reversed. Wow!

Comment from Shay
Time July 18, 2008 at 8:15 pm

gloves are still important for helping to prevent the spread of STI and HIV infection if you and your partner haven’t been checked out recently

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