“I have two questions:
I bought my gf some “wonder balls” and the description of the clerk was that they were toning and massaging marbles. By what we figure by the illustrations, they are inserted into the vagina for periods of time. My question is how long is it still safe to use? they’re like solid blue glass marbles, and she’s even slept with them on, but I have my wonders…

And the second one was referring to an orgasm she had two weeks ago. We were in the shower and she had a rush when she climaxed, she poured down a lot of blood. She said she really couldn’t help it, but what she was really worried about was that when the blood came down, she felt it really strong, and she was scared to maybe even have broken something. What do you think?“

As long as the balls are glass (or phthalate free) I don’t think there should be any harmful effects if she wanted to wear them all day.  It’s not the kind of toy that constricts blood flow or that would leak any harmful chemicals – so as long as it’s comfortable, she can wear them as long as she wants.  Though she may find that her vaginal muscles get tired, so she’ll want to take breaks.

As for your other question, you two don’t need to worry.  Sex is great when a woman is on her period because it eases cramps and can help the bleeding finish sooner.   This is partly because the flared head of the penis sorta pulls fluid and material out of the vaginal canal (see HERE) AND because of something neat that often happens when a woman orgasms…

When a woman orgasms, her internal muscles will often pulse and/or clench (which might also help push blood out), but the major thing is that her cervix tents – it flexes and opens wider for a moment.  This could be why suddenly a whole bunch of blood poured out of her.  This kind of deluge can happen, but doesn’t always – it depends on the circumstances (how heavy her flow is, whether you pulled out, etc etc).

I hope that helps answer your questions!

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This post, Things in Vaginas, originally appeared on the s spot on October 1, 2010. If you are viewing it anywhere other than in a feed reader, it was scraped illegally and without my permission. Please email the(dot)s(dot)spot(at)gmail(dot)com and let me know.
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“Dear and beloved Shay, I was chatting with some guys yesterday and they came out with a video of girls kicking each other in the vaginas. What surprised me was how bad the girls reacted to the kicking. They just got to the floor with the face like they were heavily in pain. Just like the same way we do when we’re kicked in the balls.

I didn’t know that a kick there would hurt that bad. And here it comes the question….why does it hurt that much?? I don’t know anything about the female anatomy and that was just too surprising to me, I thought the closest part of your body that’s remotely sensible as our balls were your inner genitalia, and well, that’s well protected. I can understand the vagina being a sensible zone but, to that extend?

Just in case, and since it’s the other way around for you I’ll describe the feelings from a male perspective (You probably heard this already =/ ): – When we are immediately hit “in the nuts”, we feel a sharp pain, kind of like when you got a cut. But that’s just the easy part, after that a strong and uncomfortable feeling of something trying to pull out the lower part of your stomach area assaults you, it is very intense and painful. Also, the balls are sensitive (the bad way) for a while. Does it feel like anything similar there?

And that’s it.

I hope you don’t mind this kind of question, as I feel you can do a better and more trustworthy search on the matter than myself.

From a male lurker with Love.“

Kicking each other in the vagina?! Oh god! Why are there so many stupid people doing stupid stuff and filming it?!

As a girl I once slipped on my bike and slammed my crotch into the crossbar of my bike and BOY DID IT HURT!!

Despite not having balls, we women do have a lot of nerves in our crotches as well; actually, if you have a look at this diagram here – a lot of our structures that can get hurt when a man gets whacked in the crotch are the same in women.  The clitoris (a woman’s major nerve junction down there) also has branches that extend down, underneath the labia – and it would suck pretty hard to hurt that area as well.

In conclusion, a good knock to the crotch can bring most anyone to tears, regardless of gender.  I think guys just make a bigger deal out of it because their balls seems so much more vulnerable – being so important for reproduction and just kinda hanging around out there and all, I can see how that might make you guys nervous.

I hope that answers your question! haha

clickthrough to see the hilarious animation

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This post, No One Likes a Knock in the Junk, originally appeared on the s spot on August 21, 2010. If you are viewing it anywhere other than in a feed reader, it was scraped illegally and without my permission. Please email the(dot)s(dot)spot(at)gmail(dot)com and let me know.
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“Hey Shay, i’m still a virgin, but recently my boyfriend and I are trying to have sex.
The first time he tried to penetrate was painful but i was sort of expecting that. But now it’s been a few weeks, and we have tried several times but the pain is too much for me to bear. And in my head i’m thinking that he is too big, so in my own time i’m trying to get ‘accustomed’ to a larger size. However, while trying it out on myself with something that really isnt much thicker or bigger than he is, i’ve realised that the pain isn’t actually my hymen as the pain is from the top of the vagina opening not the bottom. Should i be worried? Or is it all in my head? Because to be honest, i do doubt that its my hymen thats causing the problem. If you can help that would be great! And i’m sorry if this type of question has been posted before… i’m new to your blog and very impressed by it (not to mention learning alot too). Thanks Shay :)“

I think your instincts are correct, it probably isn’t your hymen that’s bothering you.  There is a bone in your pubic area and some cartilage at the top of your vagina, so that could be what you’re hitting.  I’ve had similar trouble if I don’t take the time to get properly warmed up before I test out some of the thicker toys I’ve reviewed.  Usually if you take the time to get really relaxed and turned on, things become more flexible and you should have less trouble/pain.

Check out some of my posts for first timers HERE because there might be some other useful advice for you there as well. ^_^

I hope that helps.  If you do keep finding sex painful after a few more attempts, you could try asking your doctor/gynecologist to see if they have any other ideas for you.

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This post, Painful Penetration, originally appeared on the s spot on February 22, 2010. If you are viewing it anywhere other than in a feed reader, it was scraped illegally and without my permission. Please email the(dot)s(dot)spot(at)gmail(dot)com and let me know.
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In the meantime, check out some of the pretty cool posts we’ve seen here at The S Spot about vaginas.
You could learn why douching is a bad idea.
Read about how to do Kegels properly!
Find out some of the ways girls masturbate.
Speak your mind in a discussion about labia size!
Read about the GSpot Myth.
Or just participate in some VagLove
There’s LOTS to see!
^_^

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This post, Vaginas and The OTHER V-Day, originally appeared on the s spot on February 13, 2010. If you are viewing it anywhere other than in a feed reader, it was scraped illegally and without my permission. Please email the(dot)s(dot)spot(at)gmail(dot)com and let me know.
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I bought a small vibrator and I did everything right, down to mood lighting, lube, taking my time, porn, fantasies, the whole shebang. Nothing. I can’t come with a vibrator, and penetration, even very slow, gradual, gentle penetration, hurts too much to continue. I’m pretty sure my hymen isn’t intact, since I can’t see it at all, but I just cannot get anything bigger than a finger in there, no matter what I try. I can’t come with manual stimulation of my clit, either. Just the leg-crossing thing, and penetration is awful. I keep worrying that when I do get around to having sex, it will hurt too much and I’ll end up being embarrassed and frustrated. I want to have fun, get laid, enjoy sex like most of the other people my age, but I just don’t want to end up disappointed. I know the first time isn’t going to be magical or awesome, but at this point I just want to get the first time over with so I can stop feeling like such a freak and start having fun, but I’m scared.

What should I do? Is it possible that there is something wrong with the way my vagina is shaped, so that it won’t allow penetration? I feel like everything is right, but it is just way too painful.  Every website or book gives me the same advice: slow down, take your time, use lube, relax, blah blah blah, but none of that helps and there doesn’t seem to be any other advice out there.  I just don’t want to deal with the scary doctor’s office until I officially have to. I’m sorry to send you such a long email, but this whole thing has become really stressful recently and I’d really appreciate any suggestions you might have. Thanks so much!”

My first piece of advice is to stop stressing out.

I’m not going to deny that sex is fun – but you shouldn’t feel like a freak just because you haven’t had a chance to try it yet! A lot to do with sex happens in your head, and being stressed out or worried about your first time can contribute a lot to the kind of problems you’re experiencing (but now don’t worry about being worried! ^_~). From what you’ve told me, it sound like you might be experiencing something similar to vaginismus (tight clamping of the vaginal muscles); usually this disappears over time, as you become more comfortable and experienced.

Here is what I suggest: set a date night with yourself every week – at least once a week (you can adjust it to your schedule as needed). On these date nights you’ll have something nice for dinner, take a hot shower, find some porn/erotica that you like, and spend some time exploring your body.

If crossing your legs works for getting you off, do that – but stop every so often to try touching yourself another way: try inserting a finger or two, try using the vibe on your clit – mix things up a little – but don’t let yourself get frustrated if something doesn’t feel good, just stop and go back to what does work for you.

Be very gentle and patient with your body and it should come around eventually.

On another note – the doctor’s office isn’t scary!! You should definitely make an appointment to have your annual physical done (it’s very important), although you’re not sexually active yet, it’s still a good idea to get everything checked out. Pick a nice female doctor and let her know about your concerns; one of the exams does involve opening your vagina and taking swabs, so you should let her know that you’re afraid this will hurt. (I’ve never found it too painful, if that makes you feel more confident.)

Don’t worry, everything will be fine. ^_^

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This post, Sometimes You Need Date Night With Yourself, originally appeared on the s spot on February 9, 2010. If you are viewing it anywhere other than in a feed reader, it was scraped illegally and without my permission. Please email the(dot)s(dot)spot(at)gmail(dot)com and let me know.
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“Hello Shay,
I have been reading your blog for a while and have gotten some prety good sex advice, But now I have a stumper for you. My girlfriend have been trying sex out for about two months now and we have a problem, nither of us have been able to finnish because she becomes extreamly wet to the point of nither of us being able to feel anything. By the time things “dry-up” she looses her feeling and its like starting all over again. If there is anything you can tell me that might beable to help me i would be very appreciative. Thanks.

By the way thank you for creating this blog for people who don’t know who to ask.“

She’s too wet? Wow, that is an unusual problem.
Normally having a lot of lubrication is a very good thing, it makes things nice and slippery and it (normally) means that a woman is well aroused. But one of the things that makes sex feel good is the little bit of friction between your two bodies, so too much lubrication can be a problem.

There are two things I would suggest you try: first, try different positions.
Changing the position to something that will narrow her vaginal canal might help. Try positions like doggy style or have her laying on her back with her legs on your shoulders and you on top of her. Also try positions where she lays on her side with her legs pressed together as you enter her from behind.

The other thing she could try is quickly going to the bathroom to pee when she gets too wet, peeing will eject some of the fluid from her vaginal canal.

Also, have you tried just dabbing her vag with a tissue? How about turning on a fan? Using non-lubricated condoms? I’m just throwing out ideas here. ^_~

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This post, IS There Such a Thing as TOO Wet?, originally appeared on the s spot on January 2, 2010. If you are viewing it anywhere other than in a feed reader, it was scraped illegally and without my permission. Please email the(dot)s(dot)spot(at)gmail(dot)com and let me know.
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“Over the last couple of days, symptoms have emerged for me that I’m not sure what to do about.
The other night, I was going about my business when all of a sudden I felt the strongest sensation of needing to pee. I ran to the loo and…nothing happened. I didn’t need to pee at all – what it actually was, was a stingy, tingly sensation that tricked me into thinking I needed to. I kept getting it throughout the evening. Later on, when I acutally DID pee, it stung. Now, a couple of days later, urinating is accompanied by a burning sensation, and the urge to pee bothers me frequently, even when I dont need to go.

I’m know this is all very romantic and attractive, so I wont go on…but what could this be??
I spoke to Boyfriend about it and he said he was absolutely sure it isn’t an STD and that he’s completely clean, but that he’s willing to get tested again if I want him to.

This is really beginning to stress me out. Could it be thrush? Or is it more likely to be an STD?
If it IS an STD, what would it be likely to be?
If it isn’t an STD, is thrush the most likely explaination?“

The urges to pee and stinging when you pee sounds like a UTI or bladder infection. It’s probably something as simple as that or thrush – weird body side effects that can crop up when you’re sexually active. Go to the doctor and describe your symptoms, I’m sure they’ll be able to diagnose more precisely than me and prescribe what you need. :)

I used to get UTI’s every so often, but then I made it a point to pee (even if I didn’t really need to) after sex and after masturbating and I stopped getting them. Peeing after sex will help clear your urinary tract of anything that may have gotten smooshed into the opening.

If it is some kind of urinary tract or bladder infection, you do need to see a doctor for antibiotics right away, before it gets worse. If you are in the early stages of a UTI (i.e. you’re just starting to get a little stinging at the end of peeing), I did have a doctor suggest flooding my system with fluids to flush out my bladder – drinking lots of green tea, cranberry juice, and good ol’ water.
If you aren’t feeling better within 24hrs though, get your body to a doctor.

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This post, Please Pee Post Penetration, originally appeared on the s spot on November 16, 2009. If you are viewing it anywhere other than in a feed reader, it was scraped illegally and without my permission. Please email the(dot)s(dot)spot(at)gmail(dot)com and let me know.
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