I feel that [...]]]> You may not know this about me, but I do a lot of work in my real life with sex education and promoting safer-sex practices (i.e. getting people to use condoms).  Some of you may even recall that The S Spot got it’s start as an educational sex column in a campus newspaper!

I feel that when you’re talking to someone about sex, you can’t just try to scare them with the facts about Sexually transmitted infections, HIV, and how accidental pregnancy will “ruin your life”; but a lot of sex educators focus on just that.

I remember one time when I picked up my younger brother from school, I asked him about his day and he told me that there had been an assembly about sex ed.  I asked him if he had learned anything interesting and if he had any questions about anything they talked about (figuring that he might be more comfortable talking to me, his older sibling rather than a “real” adult like mom or dad).  He did have a few comments about funny things the teachers had said and how uncomfortable many of them had looked.  Then he said, “I didn’t know that condoms don’t protect you from infections or AIDS”.

I was flabbergasted.  I pressed him for more details – there are some diseases that a condom might not protect you from (depending on where the sores/outbreak is occurring) – but I still wanted to know “what exactly did they tell you?”

My brother then went on to explain how the presentation had showed slides with microscopic views of condoms, revealing that they are full of little holes that might stop sperm but wouldn’t stop infection or disease transmission.  “So”, he concluded, “in that case, I don’t see the point of using them.”

I was stunned and very disappointed – not only had this “safe sex” presentation focused only on the negative risks (nothing about the positive things about having sex), but they had outright lied to these junior high and high school kids in an effort to make them even more scared of having sex.

Ironically, depending on how many other students left the presentation with the same attitude as my brother (“if condoms don’t protect me, why bother using them?”), they actually did MORE damage than if they had said nothing at all!

I took a detour on the way home so that I would have enough time to explain to my brother what was wrong with what he had been told at school that day.  I explained to him about how condoms work, why some girls are on the pill, what kinds of infections there are to be concerned about, what other forms of barriers exist, etc – anything I could think of that a young almost-man might need to know about the sometimes tricky world we live in.  But I also told him that the reason why he needs to know all these things about how to protect himself, is because sex is fun and when he meets the right girl he’s going to want to try it.  I told him that I wanted him to know these things so that when the time came when he wanted to have sex, he wouldn’t have to worry, because he would know what to do.  He would know that he should use a condom, where to get one, that buying them is nothing to be ashamed of, how to put one on – and then he would be ready to have fun.

Not every student who attended that presentation had a “cool” older sister who was willing to take the time to explain the correct information about birth control, STI’s, and prophylactics.  So what happens to these unlucky kids? Do they go out into the world having unprotected sex until they get infected with something serious?  Do they end up at university and read someone who writes a newspaper column like mine?   Maybe, once they’re older, they end up at The S Spot and find the answer to their questions.

Or, if they’re clever (and connected to the internet) they’ll find a site like Scarleteen!

Scarleteen is a pretty bad-ass site where anyone (though they cater to teens) can go to learn more about sex and to find support for their issues, concerns, and questions.  You can read more about them HERE. Scarleteen is the cool older brother/sister who is there to give teens honest and open information about sex – the negative aspects (like STIs) and the positive aspects too (like the fun – woo!).

The weird thing is, Scarleteen is the highest ranked online young adult sexuality resource but it’s the least funded!  Since the youth who need this site most are also the least able to donate, they are calling on people who CAN afford to donate.

What Scarleteen Needs: Last year, Scarleteen needed increased donations in order to get through the end of 2009 and into 2010, in large part because private donations for a few years previous had been so low and left us in a very financially precarious position. We increased our financial goals to reflect the need for a minimum annual operating budget of $70,000. Thanks to generous contributions from our supporters in response to that appeal, while we were not able to reach that level, we were able to raise what we needed to not only get through 2009, but were able to use the funds wisely to sustain the organization through 2010. Our goal now is to continue to work toward that annual operating budget. Ideally, we would like to see a minimum of $20,000 in individual donations each year to combine with funding from private grants. In order for that to happen, we need for current donors to keep giving, and we also also need to cultivate new donors.

This minimum budget is exceptionally cost-effective for the level of service we provide, especially compared to other organizations and initiatives whose budgets are far higher, including those which do not match our reach and our level of direct-service. If you would like more details about our budget and expenses, just contact us via email and we’ll gladly share that information with you.

A $100 donation can pay half of our server bill for a month, or half the monthly cost of the text-in service, or can fund any kind of use of the site, including one-on-one counsel and care, for around 10,000 of our daily users. However, we very much appreciate donations at any level.

If you can, support Scarleteen by clicking the banner below:

BTW, I do still answer reader questions – if you have a question about sex or relationships, feel free to email me about it.

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This post, Sex Education is Important, originally appeared on the s spot on October 17, 2010. If you are viewing it anywhere other than in a feed reader, it was scraped illegally and without my permission. Please email the(dot)s(dot)spot(at)gmail(dot)com and let me know.
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I’m in the middle of settling into my new place at grad school, so my internet service is a little sketch right now.

Hopefully I’ll be able to post an update for you soon – but in the meantime you might have to wait until the installation guy comes [...]]]> Hey Folks!

I’m in the middle of settling into my new place at grad school, so my internet service is a little sketch right now.

Hopefully I’ll be able to post an update for you soon – but in the meantime you might have to wait until the installation guy comes to rescue us on Tuesday morning.

I know it’ll be tough, but while you wait – why don’t you all discuss in the comment section the hilarity of someone discovering what’s really in the box I have labeled “desk supplies” (hint)?
^_^

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This post, Moves, originally appeared on the s spot on September 6, 2009. If you are viewing it anywhere other than in a feed reader, it was scraped illegally and without my permission. Please email the(dot)s(dot)spot(at)gmail(dot)com and let me know.
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And you are going to be my first test audience!

Are you honoured? Oh good, maybe that’ll help convince you to go easy on me with the critiquing. ^_~

haha

And so, without further ado, I [...]]]> I’ve decided to dip my toe into the word of video blogging, my dear readers.

And you are going to be my first test audience!

Are you honoured?
Oh good, maybe that’ll help convince you to go easy on me with the critiquing.
^_~

haha

And so, without further ado, I present to you my video debut on the internets!

So what did you think?

You loved it?!
Great!

Psst, if you’re curious about the products I used in the video, you can check out the dildo HERE (remember when I reviewed it?) and the condoms HERE.

Wow… what should I do for my next vid!?

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This post, Shay’s Special Film Friday (so special it’s not even on a Friday!), originally appeared on the s spot on August 20, 2009. If you are viewing it anywhere other than in a feed reader, it was scraped illegally and without my permission. Please email the(dot)s(dot)spot(at)gmail(dot)com and let me know.
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I’ve been reviewing toys here at The S Spot for a while now, but I don’t think I’ve ever told you about my very first sex toy ever!  Thank goodness one of you thought to ask. ^_~

When I first left home to go to university, I was super excited because when I was living in [...]]]>

I’ve been reviewing toys here at The S Spot for a while now, but I don’t think I’ve ever told you about my very first sex toy ever!  Thank goodness one of you thought to ask. ^_~

When I first left home to go to university, I was super excited because when I was living in the Caribbean you couldn’t order things and have them delivered to your mailbox.  So the first thing I did was get a magazine subscription.  Then I poked around online to see what I could get sent to me for free.  Then, I decided that I should be REALLY naughty and order a sex toy, for a laugh and just because I could now that I was away from home.

So I surfed around online and settled on an online shop, then I looked for the smallest and cheapest and cutest vibrator I could find.  I settled on a cheap pink pointy plastic vibe (kinda like the one above, but see-through).  Order made, I carried on with my life: going to classes, studying, having fun with new friends, trying to get along with two wacky roommates, etc.

I had almost totally forgotten that I had ordered the vibe, so when a package arrived for me I took it out into the lounge to open with my friends.  I wasn’t sure what had been delivered – that discrete packaging is confusing sometimes if you’ve forgotten what you ordered!

I didn’t realize what I was unwrapping until it was too late, a friend spotted the pink bubble wrapped shape and nabbed it out of my hands before I could finish opening it or shove it back in the box. “What did you order this for?” he asked (very loudly), holding the pink vibe high in the air.  A little embarrassed, I said that a friend had ordered it for me as a joke.  Everyone chuckled, congratulating me on having such a hilarious friend and we proceeded to pass the vibe around, giggling, jabbing each other and massaging backs with it.

When the excitement died down, I washed the vibe and stashed it away in a drawer near my bed. I’m not sure if I ever really intended on using it, but sharing a bedroom with another (kinda bitchy) girl meant that I didn’t really have much opportunity anyway.  I totally forgot about it until I was hooking up with a boy that I liked from my hall and he asked about it.  I dug the vibe out, miraculously the batteries in it were still good, and we decided to try it out.

Man, I wish that I had been following a site like mine back then – I had had NO idea what I was doing or looking for when I was picking out that vibe!  The hard plastic was BRUTAL, it didn’t feel that great when he slid it inside me because it was too hard.  Plus I couldn’t stand the feeling of the vibrations inside me either.  Also, the vibe was so cheap that when I dropped it on the floor, it got a huge crack up the side!

We did play with it for a few minutes, mostly trying to figure out what would feel good: labia was okay, clit was better, inside was weird, etc.  It wasn’t long before we gave up giggling and moved on.

Although I think I only used it that once, I still held on to that vibe for a while – for the nostalgia and silliness.  I didn’t end up throwing it away until I finished my undergrad degree.

If I had known then what I know now, I def would have ordered myself a pocket rocket instead!  That is an excellent first timer’s toy.

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This post, Shay’s First Toy, originally appeared on the s spot on June 30, 2009. If you are viewing it anywhere other than in a feed reader, it was scraped illegally and without my permission. Please email the(dot)s(dot)spot(at)gmail(dot)com and let me know.
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The site is called Beyond the Birds and the Bees.

A good friend of mine started a fantastic website not too long ago.
The purpose of this website is to create an online resource – a collection, if you will, of stories of people’s experiences learning and/or teaching others about sex and sexuality.

The site is called Beyond the Birds and the Bees.

In fact, I have yet another reason for you to check out the site;
I have submitted a story of my own to the collection.
You can check it out HERE.

Let me know what you think, either here or in the comment section there.

Here’s an excerpt:

“I’d never seen a condom before (besides the dirty used ones that we occasionally found on the baseball diamond at school and didn’t dare touch) so I was interested to be allowed to open a fresh one for myself. My dad encouraged me to try unrolling it a little way and stretching it to see how durable it was. I did and was suitably impressed with how much the material could stretch.“

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This post, Talking about Sex, originally appeared on the s spot on June 22, 2009. If you are viewing it anywhere other than in a feed reader, it was scraped illegally and without my permission. Please email the(dot)s(dot)spot(at)gmail(dot)com and let me know.
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This has been a busy busy year for us here at The S Spot!

I moved to a new city and the site moved [...]]]> Hurray!!
4 whole years – that’s like 28 in blog years!
(Gosh, does that mean it’s time for the site to start thinking about settling down? I hope not!)

This has been a busy busy year for us here at The S Spot!

I moved to a new city and the site moved to a new domain (woot!);

I started writing for Jane’s Guide and I joined the Best Sex Bloggers;

We saw the (sorta) end of film fridays and we saw the return of Diary of a Futa;

not to mention lots of reader questions were answered and lots of neat toys were reviewed!

Speaking of toys, we also gave away some shiny new toys in fun contests.

In fact, this would be a great time to announce the winner of the S Spot Trivia contest!

JR!
Coincidentally, although he was picked at random, he was also the only person to answer every question perfectly (though others gave alternate answers that were acceptable ^_^) – clearly it was fate!  Well done JR, your prize will be on the way as soon as I get your addy.
A HUGE HUGE thank you to the wonderful people at Babeland for providing the fabulous prize for this contest!

^_^

But that’s not all, it is the S Spot’s birthday, and we’ll give away more swag if we want to! VibeReview has sweetly donated a mystery prize to be given to one of today’s lucky commenters (so long as they live in the US or Canada)!  So drop me a line, maybe let me know what was the highlight of your year with the S Spot.
^_^

The coming year will see lots of fun new things on the S Spot I’m sure:

More reader questions answered, more toy reviews, lots more posts about sex, and of course more hentai.

But there will be some new stuff as well: one reader sent me a sweet little digital camera so we might be seeing some video posts sometime in the future!

I hope you’re looking forward to another year of The S Spot as much as I am!

<3 Shay

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This post, Happy 4th Blogiversary The S Spot!, originally appeared on the s spot on February 3, 2009. If you are viewing it anywhere other than in a feed reader, it was scraped illegally and without my permission. Please email the(dot)s(dot)spot(at)gmail(dot)com and let me know.
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I’ve been packing all week and tomorrow is the big moving day!Unfortunately this means that I’ll be without internet until sometime on Monday.^_^