“hi shay, Do all men have high libido’s and what is a normal level for a man?
I’m asking because my husband doesn’t seem to want to have sex as much as me and when i ask him if he wants to have sex he almost always says no which is a shocker to me cuz i thought all guys said YES to sex no matter when or were lol and i guess I’m just use to all the guys who want sex 24-7 i mean most guys i know or have dated want sex like 4to 5 times a day or more if they can get it lol. but he only wants sex like maybe 1or 2 times a week and i would like to have sex like once day that would be great! is there something wrong with him i mean he’s only 22 and I’m 21 and we’ve only been married for 2 1/2 years.
and your always seeing everywhere on TV and in magazine’s and people are always saying that guys want it alot and if you talk to a guy they say that they want it all the time so whats the deal with him? or is it me? is mine just to high? i didn’t think it was. help! “
Everyone’s sex drive is a little different and can be affected by a lot of different things. You can’t just rely on media/culture propagated stereotypes to figure out how you or someone else should be. Just think about how you yourself don’t fit the stereotype that women (esp married women) hardly ever want sex.
If you’re noticing a recent drop in your husband’s sex drive it could be due to any number of things. It may be that he’s really busy/stressed at work which can sap his energy for sex. If he’s coming home exhausted or still thinking about work, he might not be interested in “getting it up” and be more in need of some relaxing down-time. It’s one of the down sides of living in the modern world and it can happen to anyone – if this is the reason why he’s not as interested in sex, then you two should talk about ways that you could work together to help make sure that both of your needs are being met. You also should be making the most of your weekends, when he’ll hopefully be less stressed out and more “up” for sex.
Another reason for a drop in his sex drive could have to do with his hormones. This is something that a doctor would need to check out when he goes for a physical.
But it could also have nothing to do with outside factors, maybe it’s just that your sex drives aren’t perfectly compatible. As I said above, regardless of gender, everyone has a different sex drive. It may be that he’s just one of those people whose sex-o-meter takes 3-4 days to fill before he needs sex, whereas your sex-o-meter is full to bursting after only 12 to 24 hours. In situations like this, it’s no one’s fault and the two of you will just have to work out a compromise if you want to stay together.
This is something that you’ll want to get to work on with him right away before either of you start feeling resentful about the current situation. Don’t be shy about calling in a professional sex therapist to help the two of you work this out if you need it, or about consulting with a doctor to make sure that he isn’t having any health problems that might be affecting his sex drive.
Good luck!
I’m fourty-three and my boyfriend is fourty-four. We’re in the same boat. I would like to have sex everyday!!! He’s happy with twice a week. We don’t live in the same house so that adds to the problem. He may get horney during the week and satisfy himself. As much as I try to not let that hurt my feelings, it does anyway. I would like to satisfy him as much as possible. He says it’s normal to only want sex twice a week, I believe that, but I don’t know how not to let it hurt when I’m not there and he feels the need to satisfy himself instead of waiting for me……
Oh Shay, you just know how to play to my needs at the moment
Confused – sure it might be “normal” for him to only want sex twice a week, but that doesn’t mean it’s “normal” for you too! Still, try not to be hurt if he does masturbate during the week; it’s not the same as having sex and it’s not necessarily like he’s “using up” the same horniness that he would tap into when he’s with you. See this post: https://thesspot.org/?p=1543
Rae – I aim to please ^_~
l say give the guy a blowjob. Whether he wants sex or not he wont turn that down. When he comes home from work or wherever, pull his tool out (have a handywipe with you if you want it to be clean) and just give him great head. Don’t expect anything in return, you don’t even have to get him to pop, just an unsolicited blowjob. lt’ll be like money in the bank for you later. lt shows that you’re really into nookie and should bring him around. lt may take 3 or 4 times but l think you’ll get results
Ed, can you see me raising one eyebrow at you? because I’m doing it really hard. haha Not every man enjoys bj’s as much as you – in fact I’ve even dated a few who really werent’ that into them at all. Besides, you can’t just put sex points in the bank and expect to be able to withdraw them at any point regardless of his feelings or whether he’s in the mood or not – that’s just not fair. I wouldn’t want someone to do that to me, so I wouldn’t do that to anyone else.
Thanks, maybe I’ll suggest a little shopping time…….
I’d suggest some fitness training. It may not be necessary to really work out, just use your bicycle or walk instead of going by car/train/bus whenever possible. 30-60 minutes a day of casual training can do miracles. Not only will you feel better in your body, it also increases your sex drive. The lesser fit you are, the lower your libido.
So…. really you’re suggesting that she become less active to decrease her sex drive to match her husband’s? I dunno about that.
Shay can you give me a suggestion on a porno or type of porno I may be interested in? Oh, we are both very active at the gym…. I don’t want to get heavy….
Confused – try checking out this post: https://thesspot.org/?p=672