“My friend and I have been fighting recently over our opinions. He was taught that there were 3 types of sex (Anal, Oral and Intercourse.) while I was taught there are 4 (anal, oral, intercourse and masturbation. My question is: Is masturbation a sex, even if it is done alone?“
Exile and I decided to team up once again to answer this question in our own ways (without looking at each other’s answers or anything – we’re so good ^_~).
Exile said:
“You two have been fighting over this? Don’t you know the saying “don’t be hate’n, be masturbate’n”?
It sounds like you and your friend have quite the complicated conundrum before you, after all you’re try trying to give definition to one of the grayest areas of sexuality. (It sure befuddled Bill Clinton…)
To answer this you have to lay out a definition of sex. Is sex an act of the aforementioned holy trinity (anal, oral, and intercourse) or is it any sexual act performed with a partner?
Let’s face it, if you have the toys and the time you can pull off the act of both anal and/or intercourse without a partner. As for the oral, well, if you’re limber you can pull that off too. Of course, being that these are all being done in a solo fashion, they are all lumped into the category of masturbation, ergo, any of the previously mentioned acts all constitute forms of masturbation.
Masturbation can also be used as a form of foreplay. “putting on a show” for your partner is quite common and often leads to any one of the holy trinity. But keep in mind that while you are only giving your self stimulation you are not having “sex” in the most commonly defined terms. Think of it like phone sex, you may be “getting off with the other person” but they’re not there to lay in the wet spot with you.
But wait, there’s more.
What about mutual masturbation? We know that when Hans Solo is Work’n his own Wookie it’s only his Chewy that get’s all gooey. So what about when you’re doing it for a partner? This is where the definition get’s fuzzy. For example, if you’re by your self you’re masturbating, but if you lend a hand it’s a hand job (or double clicking someone else’s mouse, depending on who we’re talking about). In this case while you are physically masturbating someone else the solo aspect of the act is lost and it is now a sexual act you are performing on someone else.
To make a long story short (too late), the definition of sex is often obscured by our most commonly used colloquialisms. So to answer your question, masturbation (be it by your self or with someone watching) is a sexual act it does not constitute sex. Furthermore, while performing sexual acts on someone else may simulate the actual act of sex, it does not constitute the act of sex it’s self, unless you count hand jobs and the like as sex.
Remember, this all comes down to an argument of semantics, after all, there are some people who don’t count oral as sex (eg: Bill Clinton.). so no more fighting you two, make up and give each other a big hug… just wash your hands first.“
My answer is short and sweet – because that’s how I am!
Shay says:
It all depends on how you define “sex”. It seems to me that your friend is defining it as “sexual intercourse” and you are defining it as “sexual stimulation” and both can be right. Sexual stimulation refers to the genital stimulation (usually with orgasm as the goal) and all four acts (oral, anal, vaginal, and masturbation) do fall into this category. But people usually consider masturbation and sexual intercourse to be mutually exclusive because we tend to think of sex as something two (or more) people do together, rather than something that you (can) do alone. When we talk about sexual intercourse we are usually referring to insertive sexual behavior – like vaginal intercourse, anal sex, and oral sex – where one person’s sexual organ(s) are going inside another person’s orifice(s).
What do you think? Does masturbation count as sex? Should oral even count? Are Exile and/or I way off?
I think you’re both right!
~~I guess I’m for whatever gets Bill Clinton off~~(talk about, confusion!)
:)
xx,adam b. (Yeah, I’m back)
(^_^)
YAY, for KEGELS too!!
Well, I would think the very core of the meaning of sex is that it is, by necessity, going to involve more than one person.
Masturbation isn’t even a “sex act” unless there’s someone else watching you.
It’s a great bar room philosophy topic, though. If a girl masturbates and video tapes it, and her boyfriend later receives the video tape and watches it while masturbating. Is that a “sex act”? And at what point did it change from single masturbation to a mutual sex act?
*chuckle*
i say, as long as you get to have it, call it what ever you want. hehehe
A rose by any other name …
Funny, I just put up a quote from the new sex-ed book by Heather Corrina (founder of Scarleteen.com) about masturbation.
“We hear a whole lot about who should be our first sex partner. We’re often told it should be someone we love and who loves us back, someone committed to us long-term, perhaps even with someone we plan to spend the rest of our lives with.
And it should be. That person is YOU. you, all by yourself, have all of those qualities and abilities, more than any other person.”
It’s an excellent, excellent point.
So yeah, masturbation is sex. For sure.
figleaf
Exile said it best when he said “Dont Hate, Masterbate” b/c in the end it doesnt matter, let’s just do it!!!
I’m starting a research project at my house to answer this age old question. If anyone would like to volunteer, please e-mail me, the more the merrier. You wont get paid, but with my unique research style, I believe the testing will be its own benefit.
If it ain’t sex, it’s the next best thing! After all the end result is the same…SPLURT! for us guys, orgasms for the ladies. I’ve been jacking off since I was 12 and I’m 66 now…I sure hope all that fun stuff was sex….uh what was the question again? I think I’m having a senior moment…or maybe mama was right about me playing with my weenie too much!
Like you guys said, either or. I like what exile said especially, “Don’t you know the saying “don’t be hate’n, be masturbate’n” Don’t fight, do something more constructive. ;-)
While my personal philosophy is something like, “Eatin’ ain’t cheatin’!”, my wife and others don’t agree. :(
One [marriage] counselor used this rule: [mutual] intimacy is intimacy, regardless of how it’s done. At least this one allows porn!
My Baptist upbringing (which didn’t take) taught that any sexual desire is sex with the desiree. Just like Carter’s “lust in his heart”.
The truths (and this has many, all of them true for the truth-holders) all lie somewhere in among these, I suspect.
Since I am pretty amoral, experience has taught me to respect the definition my SO subscribes to for a peaceful arrangement. :)
My take on it is like this: you’re getting off, your partner’s getting off… sounds like sex to me! Considering how many nasty urban legends (my personal favorite is that guys who wank off too much grow fur in their palms) and horror stories (one guy I once knew claimed that if you play with your penis too much, it would fall off–and he was totally serious!) there are about “dancing with yourself”, I’d say that yeah, even if it’s just you and your hand, it’s still sex– otherwise, why would so many people be so hung up over it?