Reader Question – Hymen Worries and Masturbation

Actual question removed by request – but I feel that the topic is important, so I’m posting my answer to this question about hymens and masturbation.

Thank you so much for having the courage to write to me,I know it’s hard sometimes to bring up something you’re embarrassed about.

Firstly, there are some things you should know about hymens. Hymens are a bit of a medical mystery, no one can really agree on what they are for or what they mean. Since infants and young girls tend to have a thicker hymen that covers the entire opening to their vagina, some think that it’s purpose is to keep dirt and other infectious agents (like germs from an improperly cleaned bum) out of the vagina when a girl is very young. But not all women are born with a hymen.

By the time a girl is old enough for school and until she reaches puberty, her hymen will be quite thin and delicate, this is because she is not producing as much estrogen, which maintains the thickness of the hymen. At this time it is thought to be possible for the hymen to be broken by something as simple as horseback riding, gymnastics, and other forms of exercise.

After puberty the hymen, if it’s present, thickens up and also changes shape. Instead of covering the whole entrance to the vagina, it now forms a little crescent near the bottom that is pretty much indistinguishable from the other folds in a vagina. An adult woman’s hymen is pretty out of the way; this is why a normal hymen isn’t damaged by using tampons – in fact, for many women, even having sex doesn’t disturb their hymen at all!

Since you’re 20 and, I’m assuming, well past puberty, your hymen (if you have one) should be thick and able to handle masturbation just fine – so long as you aren’t planning on shoving gigantic dildos or prize-winning zucchinis inside yourself.

As for exactly how to bring yourself to climax, well that’s a little more complicated and something that you are going to have to explore on your own. Every women is built differently and is going to respond to different types of stimulation.

For many many women, the most surefire way to climax doesn’t involve putting anything in their vagina at all (which is good news for your hymen worries); many women prefer to just stimulate their clit – that sensitive little bud just above your vaginal opening. So you might want to experiment with different ways to playing with this: rubbing it through the hood covering it, licking your fingers or using your own juices to lubricate your finger while you rub it, laying on your stomach and pressing your palm or the heel of your hand against your clit, even try rubbing it on things – like you used to when you were younger – dig out your favourite teddy bear and try that!

(See THIS post for more ideas)

I also wanted to mention that if you need help getting yourself started, a sexy fantasy can be a very good idea. You could look up some of the blogs by people who write erotica and then think about or read your favourite stories when you’re going to masturbate. You could also make up a fantasy in your head for yourself, or build up a fantasy based on a picture (porn or hentai) from the Internet. ^_^

There’s no “best way” or more “appropriate way” when it comes to masturbation, there is only the way(s) that work best for you. And there’s nothing dirty or wrong about masturbating, it’s a healthy way to get to know your body and relax (see HERE and HERE for more).