Okay, I’ll admit it, I’m a bit of a slacker when it comes to blow jobs. Once my mouth/jaw goes numb I tend to finish up a lover using my hands (or my most friendly orifice). So when I saw these gummy teeth guards, I was willing to give them a try – for scientific purposed of course.
I got my package of Head Candy from IntimateGifts ($9.95). My pack came with two different types of guards; the “Gum Job” style and the “Clitoral Kiss” style. The main difference between the two is that the clitoral kiss guards have a groove in the center that is supposed to be perfect for nestling a nipple or a clit.
These teeth guards are made out of a firm gummy candy (kind of like gummy bears) and are meant to slip over your teeth to provide a soft cushion while you perform oral sex. It’s supposed to make giving blow jobs easier and make oral sex more fun in general. Sounded good to me! So I hunted down an assistant and got to work testing this supposedly useful candy.
I tested the Gum Job guards first and then the Clitoral Kiss guards. Once I got those suckers on my teeth, the first thing that I noticed was that I couldn’t really swallow because it was hard to get a good seal around the shaft – this made things juicier than usual because my spit just kept running down over my hand. I also felt worried that I was going to bear down too hard, but he didn’t complain so I assumed that I was alright. Afterwards, he tested the Clitoral Kiss guards on my nipples and clit.
What I Liked: Gum Job – Once I got over the initial shock of not being able to swallow my own spit, things went pretty smoothly. As promised, I didn’t experience any jaw strain or mouth numbing, which was great! I also enjoyed having the taste of the candy in my mouth when we were finished and snacking on it while we cleaned up.
Clitoral Kiss – It was fun on my nipples because he could bite down a little more without worrying about hurting me.
What He Liked: Gum Job – He enjoyed the unique sensation of the soft slippery candy on his member and didn’t mind at all that I was drooling all over his crotch. I quote “just put down that I liked it a lot!”
Clitoral Kiss – I quote again “meh, at least the candy tasted good.”
What we Didn’t like: Gum Job – it was a little hard to get the gummy guards on my teeth, I found that I had to push a little hard, but at least they stayed on the whole time. My only other minor complaint was that I had to stop a couple of times to swallow because my throat felt weird from not swallowing my spit.
Clitoral Kiss – They were kind of awkward and clumsy in this case. Cunnilingus can be pretty precise work and these guards really didn’t allow him much room for finesse – I ended up asking him to just take them off.
This Toy would be Great For: someone who isn’t too big on giving blow jobs or needs a little help with them (and/or doesn’t want to taste their partner’s cum – the candy masks the taste), because I did find that it made things easier. It would also make a fun party favour at adult parties (like a bachelorette party) or could be something cute to give your lover or friend as part of a birthday or anniversary present. It’s a fun item to try and even if it doesn’t work for you, at least the candy is fun to eat.
Head Candy did live up to it’s claim of being fun, yummy, and making blow jobs easier, but I would save your Clitoral Kiss guards to use for blow jobs because they weren’t that great for cunnilingus. Thus I give Head Candy an 8 out of 10.
[Get your own HERE]