Okay, I’ll admit it, I’m a bit of a slacker when it comes to blow jobs. Once my mouth/jaw goes numb I tend to finish up a lover using my hands (or my most friendly orifice). So when I saw these gummy teeth guards, I was willing to give them a try – for scientific purposed of course.
I got my package of Head Candy from IntimateGifts ($9.95). My pack came with two different types of guards; the “Gum Job” style and the “Clitoral Kiss” style. The main difference between the two is that the clitoral kiss guards have a groove in the center that is supposed to be perfect for nestling a nipple or a clit.
These teeth guards are made out of a firm gummy candy (kind of like gummy bears) and are meant to slip over your teeth to provide a soft cushion while you perform oral sex. It’s supposed to make giving blow jobs easier and make oral sex more fun in general. Sounded good to me! So I hunted down an assistant and got to work testing this supposedly useful candy.
I tested the Gum Job guards first and then the Clitoral Kiss guards. Once I got those suckers on my teeth, the first thing that I noticed was that I couldn’t really swallow because it was hard to get a good seal around the shaft – this made things juicier than usual because my spit just kept running down over my hand. I also felt worried that I was going to bear down too hard, but he didn’t complain so I assumed that I was alright. Afterwards, he tested the Clitoral Kiss guards on my nipples and clit.
What I Liked: Gum Job – Once I got over the initial shock of not being able to swallow my own spit, things went pretty smoothly. As promised, I didn’t experience any jaw strain or mouth numbing, which was great! I also enjoyed having the taste of the candy in my mouth when we were finished and snacking on it while we cleaned up.
Clitoral Kiss – It was fun on my nipples because he could bite down a little more without worrying about hurting me.
What He Liked: Gum Job – He enjoyed the unique sensation of the soft slippery candy on his member and didn’t mind at all that I was drooling all over his crotch. I quote “just put down that I liked it a lot!”
Clitoral Kiss – I quote again “meh, at least the candy tasted good.”
What we Didn’t like: Gum Job – it was a little hard to get the gummy guards on my teeth, I found that I had to push a little hard, but at least they stayed on the whole time. My only other minor complaint was that I had to stop a couple of times to swallow because my throat felt weird from not swallowing my spit.
Clitoral Kiss – They were kind of awkward and clumsy in this case. Cunnilingus can be pretty precise work and these guards really didn’t allow him much room for finesse – I ended up asking him to just take them off.
This Toy would be Great For: someone who isn’t too big on giving blow jobs or needs a little help with them (and/or doesn’t want to taste their partner’s cum – the candy masks the taste), because I did find that it made things easier. It would also make a fun party favour at adult parties (like a bachelorette party) or could be something cute to give your lover or friend as part of a birthday or anniversary present. It’s a fun item to try and even if it doesn’t work for you, at least the candy is fun to eat.
Head Candy did live up to it’s claim of being fun, yummy, and making blow jobs easier, but I would save your Clitoral Kiss guards to use for blow jobs because they weren’t that great for cunnilingus. Thus I give Head Candy an 8 out of 10.
[Get your own HERE]
sex toys, review, sex, head candy, blowjobs, oral sex, cunnilingus
The things that people come up with. Isn’t innovation great!!!
Shay? You hunted down an assitant? Hello! I’ll drive down next time :) Gee!
Great review! Sounds like a lot of fun for the assitant anyway. It is rather precise work now isn’t it? Imagine performing surgery with a pair of boxing gloves.
Oh! It sounds adorably fun, messy but fun :)
did u just try it or did u get to finish him off with it?
Shay: Gummy gums
1) I think a little bit of drooling during oral sex kind of sexy. Ok, quite sexy. Extra credit if the oral in question is fellatio and you’re using your hand because it makes everything nice and slippery and much harder to tell where your mouth stops and your hands begin.
2) I’m not a huge anime fan so I could have just missed seeing it, but for all the fascination with uncontrollably juicy genitals I’m surprised they don’t get more into saliva.
3) I’m not a saliva fetishist, however. :-)
4) Your partner is right that if your teeth are guarded it’s almost impossible to bear down too hard. Caveat: As long as you’re not pressing hard enough to bite through the guards. It’s far more common to have a problem with not enough pressure. (This is part of why I enjoy it when a partner uses her hands as well as her mouth during oral sex.)
5) I agree they probably wouldn’t be as effective for cunnilingus. Mileage probably varies too much to make any definitive statements about using them with nipple play.
Cool post, Shay. I always enjoy your product reviews. (Have I mentioned that the fenugreek-based tea you reviewed really works? Although actually any tea with fenugreek works just fine, and you can often find it straight, in teabags, in better-stocked natural foods departments. (I found it at a local non-Whole-Foods grocery in the Northwest US.)
Could this be bad in a yeast infection way? candy + cunnilingus?
Fuzz – I know!
DH – Yes I think that’s a very accurate comparison. ^_^ haha thanks for the offer by the way!
Oo – haha it was!
HG – haha yes
Fig – I agree the saliva is great for making things slippery durring oral, I think what struck me about using this gummy guard was how much MORE there was and it took a moment to get used to not being able to have control over how much I was drooling. I’m glad you enjoyed this post Fig!
Anon – Well the guard is meant for external use, so it’s not that much of a risk. But thanks for bringing that up.
It is, however, worth noting that gummy candy usually has both bees wax and carnauba wax as primary ingredients. The same sort of wax often found in traditional automotive waxes, shoe polishes, surfboard waxes, and wood waxes. It’s also used in lipsticks as well as waxed dental floss.
My thoughts are that the sugar is of relatively minimal concern when dealing with the vulva since sugar tends to a somewhat lesser ingredient in gummy candies than in hard candies (in which it’s the primary ingredient).