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Hi, I'm Shay.

Welcome to The S Spot!

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Reader Question – Tips for a Busy Woman

This is a question that is bothering me and so you seemed the logical person to ask.I have several friends with benefits. One I see once each week, the other has a more difficult time finding time. There have been occasions when I thought the only possibility, because of the time problems, was to see both on the same day, but a number of hours apart.  However, I have avoided doing so because I don’t want #2 to know I’ve had an earlier session with #1. Will a good shower and wash removed traces of the first so that the second will not “pick up the scent?” What are your thoughts and any tips?

In these modern times, a busy woman’s sexual schedule can get pretty hectic as she tries to keep herself and her lover(s) satisfied. But even in casual sex relationships like yours, many lovers would like to feel that their sex partner has arrived fresh and ready for them and not “messy” from a previous tryst.

As always, using condoms is very important, but perhaps more so in your situation for reasons other than the obvious.

Besides helping to protect you from STI’s and HIV, using a condom will ensure that you don’t have another man’s cum seeping out of you when you are with your next lover. While there is a chance that he might not notice it, there is a chance that he will and this is a chance you might not want to take.

In addition, whether you use a condom or not, you might want to consider not allowing your second lover of the day to give you oral sex. If you didn’t use a condom with the earlier fellow it’s possible that he will notice a difference, and if you did use the condom he might smell the latex or lube.

I would also recommend taking a shower and changing your clothes (or at least your panties) between lovers to get rid of any traces of someone else’s cologne and bodily fluids. Then you and your body will be clean and refreshed for your next encounter (or for the rest of your day).

Good luck to you!

, ,


Comment from Lou
Time September 9, 2006 at 8:29 pm

Just wanted to say kudos to you Shay for always being sex positive and always promoting sexual responsibility. Excellent advice, and a great “non-judgemental” response. Well done, as always.

Comment from ~A-Lo~
Time September 10, 2006 at 12:02 am

Nice call with the oral sex suggestion…wow some people are so lucky to have TWO “friends”!

Comment from dave
Time September 10, 2006 at 2:29 am

i guess it’s also important to make sure you have a douche in your vanity. it’s easy for us men to make sure we’re clean and fresh all over if we visit a second friend on the same day. women have other needs to do so.

Comment from the old yankee
Time September 10, 2006 at 10:29 am

Very good advice, though I would say that the woman should be open with all her lovers if there are more than one. There are some men who would have a problem sharing a lover with someone else, even if the arrangement was casual. Plus there are health issues as well in this day and age.

Just a thought

Comment from nina
Time September 10, 2006 at 5:00 pm

Shay, all good points.

I will borrow from Chelsea Handler; Wipe Out, Put Out, Get Out.

Some antibacterial baby wipes might help too if a shower isn’t an option, but good call on the oral sex!


Comment from FoolishMan
Time September 10, 2006 at 5:19 pm

I gotta agree with the yankee. Ii’d personally like to know what i’m getting myself into for the sake of…oh, you know…STDs?! If we’re really mature adults, there should be know problem telling our casual lover “hey, u kno i see someone else(s) too right?” It’s a policy of mine to keep that clear. if she’s ok with it great! if she isnt, thats fine too! keeping secrets is just plain greedy, and there’s no need for that

Comment from single gal
Time September 10, 2006 at 5:41 pm

condoms. condoms. condoms.

good job on promoting the safe side of things.

Comment from Shay
Time September 12, 2006 at 3:37 pm

Lou – well thank you darling!

Alo – haha I know! Better not waste them – there are starving lovers here in the blogosphere! ^_~

dave – eek! No douches! But yes, being the partner with the “sex pocket” does make it a little harder to get clean because everything is tucked inside and shouldn’t be washed with soap.

TOY – idealy, yes she should let her other lovers know about each other. But if that’s not something she wants to do, well then that’s up to her. But yes, safe sex is super important esp when one is non monagamous.

nina – That’s why those fancy elexa packs come with a cute little vag wipe. ^_^

FoolishMan – Again, I agree that safe sex relly needs to be maintained, but I can’t force anyone to tell a lover that they are having sex with more than one person. An open policy is ideal, but might not always work out the way you want.

singlegal – Gimme a C, gimme a O, gimme an N… etc
YAAAAAAAAAY Condoms! ^_^ (we’re like a safe sex cheer squad!)

Comment from Anonymous
Time September 12, 2006 at 9:31 pm

golly that’s really great advice from everyone here. Most of my ‘friends’ don’t mind sucking my cock after it’s been loved by another pussy. They actually love the taste of another woman.(or two or three…)

Thanks a bunch everyone for really doing a whiz-bang job of tuning me into the virtues of safe,open sex.

No telling what trouble I might have gotten my no-good-four-timing-freeloving-squeeze-cumming self into when I hit the big 21!

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