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PUMPkin Carving – Not Just For Kids!

I love pumpkins! I love how they look, all orange and round and happy. I love how they taste; delicious pumpkin pie and crunchy roasted pumpkin seeds are the best in October. And, most importantly, I love carving pumpkins.

But, as I sliced through the pumpkin flesh and pulled out the gooey insides in preparation for Halloween this year, it occurred to me that there are ways to carve up your pumpkin so that it can love you too.

For one thing, before you hollow out your pumpkin, you could carve a medium size hole into one side of your pumpkin and a small hole on the other. The medium sized hole should be just the right size for you to shove your dick inside and pump your pumpkin. Cover and release the small hole to vary the sensation of suction on the backstroke.
(For best results, trying warming up your pumpkin a little bit.)
Of course, not all of us have the right appendage to love a pumpkin in this way — but that doesn’t mean we can’t have our own fun ignoring the trick-or-treaters, too.

With a little clever knife-work, you could make yourself a frottage pumpkin. Simply lay your pumpkin on its side and draw one large oval with one small oval and one small circle inside. Being careful not to cut all the way through the pumpkin flesh, carve out a substantial amount of the pumpkin flesh inside the large oval, leaving the small oval and circle behind, sticking up. The raised circle will be your vaginal plug and the small raised oval will be your clit stimulator. Carve some ridges into your clit stimulator for the extra texture that will (hopefully) make this all worthwhile. Next, wrap your pumpkin in a couple of layers of plastic wrap, squirt on some lube, and set your pumpkin on the floor or on a small sturdy table or chair. Then it’s time to turn your speakers up enough to drown out the doorbell and grind your way to pumpkin-y ecstasy.
Of course, if you’re someone who needs something a little more… substantial to get off, you could always try mounting your favourite dildo into our spheroid orange friend. It’s easy: just lay your pumpkin on its side and trace around the base of your dildo, then draw another circle a few inches wider than your tracing. Cut out a hole, the same diameter as your dildo, in the middle of your big circle. Then cut out the big circle on an inward angle — like when you cut the lid of a jack-o-lantern. Scoop out some of the pumpkin flesh from the underside of your “lid” to make a niche for the base of your dildo so that it sits flush and securely. Fit the “lid” back on the pumpkin, wash everything down, place the dild-pumpkin on your bed or floor, crank the tunes, and ride ‘em cowgirl (or cowboy)!

Pumpkin fucking not your kind of thing? Your house-mates/family/partner would prefer that you carve something that could be put on display? Well, there are other ways to express your pumpkin love.

Who’s to say that you can’t create a lovely pumpkin depicting a blow-job in progress, two lesbians in a 69 or even a simple penis or vagina? With a lit candle inside, your blow-job pumpkin could be quite beautiful and set the perfect mood for this year’s Halloween party.

On the other hand, instead of carving something on your pumpkin, you could carve your pumpkin into something interesting, get creative, you could make a whole setup – like this lovely image of pumpkin tentacle sex. (Thanks AAG‘s mom)
What’s that? Oh, your house-mates/family/partner DID say that you can’t carve anything explicit into the pumpkin? Well, if you must carve a family-friendly pumpkin this year (or even if you don’t), there is one more way to really love your pumpkin: make a pumpkin-goo masturbator!

Here’s how: when you’re at the store buying the pumpkin, pick up two extra produce bags. As you prepare to carve your pumpkin, scoop out all of the gooey insides and put them into one of your plastic bags, picking out as many seeds as you can. When your pumpkin is all done, slide the plastic bag filled with pumpkin goo into an empty container (like a tennis ball canister or a 1L water bottle with the top cut off), fold the top of the bag open over the edge of the container and use an elastic band to hold it down. Next insert your second plastic bag into the middle of your pumpkin goo, open the top and secure the edges under the elastic band. Squirt a little lube in the inner bag and pump away until the party guests start to arrive!
With a little pumpkin love, you’re sure to have a very happy Halloween this year.

, ,, , , , , homemade sex toys, halloween sex toys

11 comments to PUMPkin Carving – Not Just For Kids!

  • AlwaysArousedGirl

    I’m still a bit dumbstruck that my mother sent me that link.

    Surely she didn’t know….


  • badinfluencegirl

    oh my god that’s the funniest thing ever… your mom sent you that link?

  • Tess

    Damn, Shay, until I saw this I thought the pirate skull I carved on my pumpkin was the coolest thing. But hell, I can’t hump that.

  • Hetero Guy

    Fucking a pumpkin.

    Now that’s hot.

  • Celtic Frog

    Ranger’s allergic to pumpkins.
    Poor guy, he LOVES pumpkin pie too. Not THAT kind of pumpkin pie, though! ;)

    Now I just need ideas for a family friendly baby’s first Halloween pumpkin.

  • :P fuzzbox

    A pumpkin goo pocket pussy sounds like a winner of an idea. But it could get a little messy. Great post.

  • Pyrhonik


    Lord this was funny!

    Great post Shay :)

  • Shay

    AAG – Haha I know! I’m sure she thought it was very innocent. ^_~

    Tess – A skull pumpkin is still pretty cool ^_^

    HeteroGuy – haha is that a little bit of sarcasm?

    Celtic – Aww poor Ranger. Hmm family friendly? You could carve a baby pumpkin. ^_^

    Fuzz – yeah, I would do it over the sink while wearing a condom… if I had a penis.

    Pyrhonik – I’m glad you enjoyed it! ^_^

    MrX – I’m sorry but your comment was deleted because it was off topic and basically just an advert for your site.

  • Anonymous

    I think I’ll go and fuck a pumpkin. thanks Shay.

  • Anonymous

    Hell I’ve been fucking pumpkins since I was 15 and that was a LONG time ago. Any old port in a storm you know!

  • Dee

    What an awesome idea! A few years ago, I bought a big cucumber, hollowed it out, and slid my cock into that (when I bought it, my Mom just thought I was eating healthier – ha!) but I’ve never thought of pumping a pumpkin … I’m definitely gonna try it.

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