Take Tree Hugging to a New Level

It was a quiet day for me when I checked my mail and discovered that a package was waiting for me at the post office. I snickered to myself, picturing the naive mail workers handing such an innocuous-looking package, not knowing that it secretly contained a sex toy for the seemingly innocent young woman who picked it up.

I could barely restrain myself from ripping open the package as I carried it home! As soon as I got in the door, I tore open the box and left a trail of packaging behind me in my rush to see my new toy.

Dildwood puts a lot of effort into making sure that each dildo is of the highest quality – which was obvious as soon as I had it in my own little hands.

The hardwoods used are all imported from Africa and Brazil; no stains are used on the dildos, so the natural colour of the wood is the colour you see in the finished product. My Dildo, The Sublime, is made of Kingwood, a warm dark brown coloured wood. I like that I can see the lines of growth in the wood of my dildo, it really adds to the sensual presence of nature in a sex toy crafted from a non-man-made material.

I had been in contact with Patrick (the craftsman) before my dildo arrived and had peppered him with all sorts of questions about how he makes his wooden dildos.

He told me that the first thing he has to do is select a flawless piece of wood; if there are any cracks or flaws, he won’t be able to work with it. Once the piece of wood is chosen, he can begin the process of turning it. The woods are all very dense (you wouldn’t even be able to drive a nail through most of them) so he has to make sure that his tools are very sharp.

[You can order a variety of models from Dilwood or create your own! EDIT: no longer available e-mail me for more info]

After he has carved the wood into the shape he (or the customer) wants, he begins sanding. This is where all my readers who were concerned about getting splinters from a wooden dildo can breathe a sigh of relief.
Patrick puts each dildo through a rigorous sanding process – starting with 300 grain sandpaper and progressing to 1000 grain sandpaper, making every dildo as smooth as possible. [I do have some experience with woodwork and] I was extremely impressed with how smooth my dildo was – even in places where I would have expected the wood to be a little rougher because of changes in the grain – it was as smooth as glass.

When the sanding is complete, Patrick coats each dildo with his top secret, non-toxic, water based, moister resistant, high gloss finish – 1 coat every half hour, for three to four coats (depending on the type of wood). Once the finish has dried, Patrick polishes each piece to a high shine.

All in all, it takes Patrick around four days to make each dildo.

With all of this information about my beautiful wooden dildo, I had no long had concerns about the porous nature of wood being a problem (since the finish takes care of that) or about getting a splinter (impossible!). I was VERY excited to try out my new toy and scampered off to grab some KY

I was probably a little too eager in my first attempt and didn’t give myself enough time to get ready. As a result I found the head and the rings a little too wide for me. I was able to enjoy having just the head inside and working in and out the more narrow part of the shaft, between the head and first set of rings. I could feel the rings rubbing pleasantly inside my labia but not entering me.

Then I had an epiphany, the bulb at the end of the dildo was less wide than the head! So I flipped the toy around and played with the “handle” end of the dildo and this worked very well for me. That was all I was able to do for my first trial because I was called away by other matters that needed my attention.

For the second trial (maybe the tea was helping?) I was able to get myself very ready before I started trying to penetrate myself with the toy. I also gave myself more time to enjoy some of the intricacies of the dildo that I had missed the first time.

Firstly, I didn’t need to use any KY this time; I had produced enough of my own lubrication. I found that penetration was very smooth and easy – a little lube went a long way (this “put to bed” my worries about the toy being porous once and for all). It also amazed me how quickly the wood took on my body heat – it didn’t even feel cold when I first started using it!

Because I had taken the time to get myself good and ready, I was a little more elastic than the first time and didn’t feel any discomfort when I slid the toy inside (yay!). This time I was able to enjoy sliding the whole toy in as far as I wanted and could enjoy all of the features (like the beautifully shaped head and double rings).

I also liked how easy it was to grip, some dildos can be tricky and slippery to hold on to, but the bulb and extra length at the end of my “Sublime” was… sublime.

As for cleaning, Patrick said that the finish was water resistant, but recommended that I not soak my dildo or put it in the dishwasher (of course if the finish on any of the dildos needed replacing you could send them back to be re-finished free of charge).
I found it quite easy to clean my dildo with a little mild soap and water on a cloth followed by a quick rinse under the tap; towelled it dry, and then slid my “Sublime” dildo back into the little black cloth bag it came in.

This would definitely be a good item for someone who is looking for an unusual dildo (for themselves or as a gift) or for someone who has a silicone or latex allergy. This could also be a nice alternative for someone who would like a less phallic looking dildo. And a great item for collectors.

Wooden dildos, as a rule, are a little more expensive in price: the Dilwood dildos sell for around $79.99 Canadian ( less expensive than their American competitors), but you get what you pay for, a decadent toy and superb craftsmanship.

I really enjoy the look and feel of this toy – It’s very elegant, it almost seems like something you could slip into a vase with some polished stones to display in your home. However, you probably wouldn’t want to keep it in that vase for long because it is so smooth and warm when you use it.

The Sublime from Dilwood’s wooden dildos has earned itself 8 out of 10.

dildo, wood, sex, review