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Hi, I'm Shay.

Welcome to The S Spot!

This is a positive space where I talk about sex/sexuality, publish my toy reviews/guides, and post some pretty sexy images and videos. ^_^

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Masturbating is FUN, but sometimes you need a break

Masturbation Month is coming to a close and it sounds like a few of you may have been over-indulging a little bit. ^_~ Here are my answers to a couple of the questions that were sent to me from people who just aren’t enjoying masturbation as much anymore:

Hello Shay I’m a long time reader of your blog and I have to say I love it especially your (well sort of your) review on the flesh light that i stumbled upon not to long ago which aspired me to buy my own stu unit. At first things where great and I was able to reach amazing orgasms but lately I have found it to be very un-stimulating to the extent I don’t even stay hard in it. The only change that I have made is to switch from the free sample of ID lube that came with it to another.
I guess what I’m trying to ask is can you give me some advice that may help me enjoy my toy again?

Hmm I’m trying to think of what could be the problem here. Are you feeling less sensation when you use the new lube? Perhaps it’s too slippery in there – a little friction is what makes stuff feel good. Maybe try using a little less? Unless that makes the sleeve too sticky.  Try also flipping the sleeve inside out and giving it a good wash down – make sure nothing is gunking up the ridges inside.

It may also be that you’re just getting bored of using it somehow. Try putting it away for a few weeks and going back to using your hand. Maybe you’ll find that your dick will fall in love with the Fleshlight all over again once it’s had a break. :)

Alright!  Next Question! ^_^

Hey Shay, been reading your site for about a year now and loving it. Thought I’d write in since I have my own problem I hope you can answer.

Lately, having “time to myself” seems to have taken a downfall. It’s been feeling like something I have to do rather than something I want to enjoy. In some cases, even crying was involved. A friend claimed I finally need a girl in my life, though I’ve been doing that for over 20 years with no luck. Is there anything I can do to get past this physical and emotional situation?

I’m really sorry to hear that you haven’t been able to enjoy masturbating. It’s supposed to be a fun little way to spend some time with yourself, but I know that for some people it can take on a more important role in their lives. If you aren’t enjoying wanking anymore, it sounds like you might need to take a break. Hopefully just for a little while, but it might be a good idea to stop doing it if masturbating has become just part of your daily habits.

I also would like to suggest that you see if there’s a sex therapist in your area who you might be able to talk to more about why masturbating sometimes leaves you feeling like crying. Sometimes it’s good to get a little expert outside help with things like this. Remember that you can’t just “love” yourself, you need to LOVE yourself a little more; and that may help you feel more equipped to love someone else as well.

In the meantime, it does sound like you are a bit lonely. Perhaps you should try a little internet dating to get your spirits up. Sign up for a chat site where you can talk to other nice people, or use a free dating site like PlentyofFish. At the very least I’m sure you’ll be able to meet someone online with whom you can chat and maybe even masturbate with together while you cyber.

So, to wrap things up: at the very least I’d like you to take a break from masturbating and start talking to women online. See how that goes and consider talking to a therapist or councilor.

I hope that helps! :)


Comment from Sacanagem
Time May 28, 2009 at 9:07 pm

masturbate WITH woman online!

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