I like — no wait, I love my breasts! They are round and perky and squishy and soft. They make a nice cushion when I hug people and they look great under my shirts and sweaters. I check my breasts every month to make sure that there aren’t any lumps and just to say hello.
Although my breasts don’t at this point in my life, I know that they will one day swell up and lactate to feed my baby — I mean, that’s what breasts are for, technically, right? But if my breasts are just for feeding babies, why do people who find my gender sexually attractive get so excited and sometimes obsess over them?
Also, why are my breasts relatively big and round? Do they really need to be that way to feed babies? All of our primate cousins do just fine with flat breasts — humans are the only mammal with round boobs that stick out!
Luckily, I’m not the only one thinking about these titillating questions, a few scientists have been pondering the function and evolution of breasts as well and have come up with some ideas.
Breasts can tell you a lot about the woman attached to them: if they are symmetrical, you can see that she has good genetic diversity and had little exposure to disease or malnutrition when she was growing up.
Many scientists also assert that human breasts are larger because this indicates good nutrition and fertility — in fact, they swell up even more during ovulation and pregnancy — the fat in breasts is important for lactation, which is in turn important for raising healthy babies to grow up and work and marry and carry on their genes.
This goes along with the idea that straight men find women more attractive when they have a low hip to waist ratio: that is, bigger hips to indicate good health and fertility, combined with a small waist to indicate fitness and non-pregnancy (which means she’s available for impregnating) = hotness.
So, having a nice round ass should be just as important and attractive as having nice round breasts.
This is exactly what zoologist Desmond Morris thought as he watched the girls walk by in short skirts and tight tops. Unlike our flat chested primate cousins, we walk around upright all the time and one of the most popular positions we use for sex is the missionary position (man on top), where a wonderful female ass can’t be seen or enjoyed.
It occurred to Morris that the human breast may have evolved to be bigger and rounder to remind straight men of a woman’s ass when she is seen face on and, more importantly, to make them think about the fun fertile hole nearby.
This makes sense because, back when we had even more in common with our primate cousins, buttocks would have been the main sexual focus — even more so than they are today.
So perhaps it is no coincidence that human breasts are rounded like our asses— round breasts could be an erotic substitute for the round bum that you might not be able to see and enjoy when you are having a meaningful face-to-face conversation.
But wait! Anthropologist Gillian Bently disagrees. She doesn’t think that my breasts are round because they are an erotic substitute, she says that my boobs are round so that I don’t suffocate my babies when I (one day) breast feed.
As we evolved, the human brain got bigger and the human skull had to change shape to accommodate, resulting in flatter faces. Bently’s idea is that human breasts co-evolved, becoming bigger and rounder to compensate for the infants’ flatter faces, so that they could suckle without having a flat mass of flesh covering their nose and mouth.
She suggests that any sexual interest in these fancy round breasts would have been secondary to the important fuction of not suffocating babies.
Scientist and science fiction writer David Brin, has a different idea about the co-evolution of my breasts.
He diagrees with Morris about my breasts not being an erotic substitute, because there are some other species of primate who mate face to face, and they don’t have big round fun-bags.
Brin doesn’t think I need my breasts to make straight men want to have sex with me, what I need is a way to make them want to stick around and help me (and our potential children) survive.
Brin says that during the evolution of my species, my breasts and even my hourglass figure took a back seat when it came to attractiveness; the most important thing was that women retained certain “child-like” traits: soft skin, big eyes, no beard, a high voice, a thin neck, etc.
Now, humans were already holding on to some child-like traits, this was important for having a flexible brain and personality (which are also attractive), but the traits that Brin says we human females picked up were important for not just attracting a guy, but for attracting the right kind — the kind who will protect us, bring us tasty snacks, and will help us take care of the babies.
But if things had kept going along this way, with fertile women looking so young, we would have had a big problem: How were the healthy straight men supposed to be able to tell who was old enough for sex?
Enter the bigger, rounder breasts; yes, boobs to the rescue.
Along with some other traits, like my hourglass figure, my round bazooms— even if they aren’t as big as some – give you a big, bright, flashing sign telling you that I am past puberty and physically ready to have sex and (one day) make babies.
Brin says that this is why I have boobs — so that I can have my youthful traits but still obviously display my adultness.
So let’s recap here; we’ve learned that it’s not so weird for straight men to sometimes get so excited about breasts — that’s how they know that a woman is, well, a woman and not a child. Boobs are also interesting because they can also show how healthy a woman is and how healthy she has been.
We’ve also heard two different ideas about why breasts are so nice and round: the erotic substitute theory and the anti-suffocation device theory. There surely isn’t just one reason why my breasts are they way they are; so it’s possible that, even though these three scientists kinda disagree, all of their theories, in concert, could have played a part in the evolution of my breasts.
breasts, tits, boobs, evolution, hentai, sex
Very informative and well written. I wouldn’t expect any less from you Shay. the pictures add a nice touch as well.
It would seem like flappy non-human primate breasts would be less likely to smother a baby.
“Big” women are told to use their fingers to make a depression so the baby can breathe while it nurses.
You know, when I see a woman feeding her infant from her breast, I find it so beautiful — so heart warming — so life affirming — that I just want to spooge all over her.
*kidding*
J- Thanks hun! I’m glad you enjoyed the pix ^_^
Gadfly – well maybe a chimp baby, but we humans have funny faces. Also about the BBW breast feeding: there’s a difference between biger, rounder and adaptive and just plain big. ^_~
This was an awesome article Shay and has given me much to ponder. I’d say the truth probably lies somewhere in-between all of those, as they all tend to sound reasonable, but most genetic answers seem to lean towards multiple reasons and not one simple, single reason. Evolution is a horribly complex and changing dynamic and anytime someone tries to explain it by saying it is this and not this, well that makes me wonder.
Although it was nice to see Brin’s name, glad to see he is still around and thinking about Boobies.
Whatever the reason, I’m just happy that I get to live in a world with Breasts and not one without. They sure are wonderful. :)
“we’ve learned that it’s not so weird for straight men to sometimes get so excited about breasts — that’s how they know that a woman is, well, a woman and not a child.”
Works for me. And *if* I was going to dig into evolutionary theories of sexuality I might add that full breasts in humans might have indicated readiness to mate again after (late) weaning.
But really, there are so many contingencies in evolution that breast size could be only loosely linked to sexual attraction and any attending attraction could be entirely by association.
Questions to confirm or deny: Are all cultures equally obsessed with breasts? Do women with smaller breasts really have any problem attracting mates? Do women with smaller or flatter breasts really have trouble nursing babies? And finally, do men have difficulty distinguishing small-breasted women from prepubescent girls? I believe the answer to all these questions is no.
For the record, I do love your breasts (or as much as you’ve allowed us to see of them.) And for the record, for me, anyway, adult breasts of any size or shape really are what seems to stimulate sexual arousal for me (for instance after quite a lot of introspection I’m convinced it’s why I’m not aroused by children or men.)
Cool, cool post, Shay.
figleaf
I love my breasts! Even better I love that men love em too!
Sweet, so the next time i get caught staring at a womens chest i can just say, ” I was just seeing if you were a child, if you were ready for sex, and if you would kill your babies!.” =]
There is also this theory that “early humans hung out at the shoreline and spent a lot of time in shallow water.” Voila! Human breasts float and babies have some natural ability to swim. Put the two together and… pool bar.
Art – Exactly, it’s extremely unlikely that there would be just one reason for why anything is the way it is. But they are some interesting ideas, eh? ^_~ Yay Boobs!
Fig – I think a more accurate answer to those questions is “No, BUT”
Yes, breast obsession is a bit of a western phenomenon, BUT it’s not that other cultures don’t still value breasts or that the above three hypotheses are invalidated by this – in some tribes the older women make fun of the younger for having a less mature breast shape (perky and pointy instead of round). Yes, I haven’t really heard anything about women with smaller and flatter breasts having trouble breast feeding, BUT if breast size is on a spectrum/normal distribution, why should we focus on outliers? And finally – that might be an interesting study to run – I suspect that women with small breasts are not always confused with prepubescent girls, BUT you’re neglecting the fact that there are other physical cues besides breasts that indicate maturity and fertility.
Anyway – I can always tell when I’ve written something good when you start asking questions. ^_~ I’m glad I was able to stimulate you dear figgy – with my words if not with my exposed bosoms. haha Hooray for breasts of all shapes and size!
Pandora – haha excellent!
Anon – and don’t forget that you were trying to estimate how healthy she is. ^_~ You’re such a humanitarian!
Prospero – Haha! Maybe that’s how Pool bars “evolved”! You’re a genius! ^_~
LOL
No Shay, I meant big breasted women, not BBW. My point was that I know enough about human physiology (a great deal) that I’m willing to voice a strong disbelief in the hypothesis professed by that particular researcher. In fact, I would take out a loan to bet money that she is wrong.
Excellent! We should have a research feud! ^_^ I say you start by writing up a snarky paper and send her a copy. Mwa hahaha
i’m a “all you need is a mouthful” kind of guy, but i love boobies.
i love them for all the reasons you do (who’d a guessed)
i just wish that you be able to compliment a woman if she had great breasts. i mean, if someone wants to compliment my wang it’s always welcome.
please send all wang compliments to:
Exile’s Wang
c/o Exile Industries
http://www.exileindustries.blogspot.com
[email protected]
*chuckle*
If there were some grant money involved ….
Although, collecting half of the data would be fun. Although, measuring lactating chimp boobies — not so much fun for me.
Hello Shay ^_^
This is the first time I’ve posted on your site, I just found it today in fact… due to me looking for things related to Neko Hentai ^_^ I’m really enjoying your site. Anyway, just wanted to throw out a comment/question that was semi-raised already, but I just wanted to put in my two cents ;) Just wondering what these researchers’ opinions are supposed to suggest about small breasted women and men who are attracted to them (I being one ^_^)? Am I an uncommon breed? I agree it seems a lot of men are attracted to big breasts, but I’ve had small conversations with friends regarding being attracted to small breasts… and it doesn’t seem THAT uncommon :S
Anyway, just wanted to say hi, I hope you check the comments from posts that aren’t the most recent.
Bai!
Exile – haha well you can compliment mine any time ^_^
Gadfly – haha I’ll do that part, monkeys are funny, you just have to pay me ^_~
Anon – Hi there! I’m glad to hear that you’re enjoying my site. ^_^ As for your question, I think that something about this topic has everyone a little confused: these researchers and I aren’t talking about big ‘ol D sized breasts. The average breast size in human women is a B cup – considered a small breast size – and average is what we’re talking about here. When I say “big” I mean compared to other mammals, when I say round, I’m talking about the rounded shape of every mature woman’s breast (which might be a difference in shape that only women who’ve gone through puberty would notice). So, to answer your question, you are completely normal for being attracted to breasts – small breasts too – that’s what many people think they are there for, no matter the size.
Brilliant read.
I love breasts! They are one of my favourite things, I spend hours looking at girls breasts and wanking over the thought of them. I think its important all women are proud of their breasts and understand how attractive us men find them. Its not all about size either, small pert breasts are just as much of a turn for me as big round ones.
My favourite ever sexual partner had A-cup breasts, but they were so pert and her body was really petite so they looked fantastic regardless of whetehr she was dressed or undressed.
Keep up the good work. I’m off to look at some breasts!
I am yung but I like to think of myself as mature when it comes to matters like this. I do like big breasts but personally in a relationship I would prefer a woman with a small pair of breasts probably manly because it’s cute but not in a chilled like way. Also large breasts can be annoying and painful to the host and there has apparently been an increase in breast reduction but only down to a more manageable large size. I know it must sound like a laugh but I acutely like the person on the inside (being a intelligent woman close to my age) so in retrospect it doesn’t matter what size her breasts are I well stall love her for who she is and i can only hope vies versa.
“kind who will protect us, bring us tasty snacks, and will help us take care of the babies”
those are, I believe, the three top traits I look for in a guy! :-)
I need to start calling my breasts “bazooms” more often.
Wow…interesting