Man Has Sex with 1k Cars, VW "Girlfriend" Un-phased
I’ve been thinking about THIS news story about the guy who has had sex with over 1,000 cars (what a slut! ^_~).
In case you missed it, this gentleman, Mr Smith, first had sex with a car when he was 15 (he’s now 57). He says that he’s just never felt an physical attraction to people (neither women nor men) . His last human relationship was with a woman 12 years ago - and he couldn’t bring himself to have sex with her! [Note: he has had sex with women in the past, but when he was much younger - I guess it wasn't that great.]
It sounds like he started out like the other “regular” car loving guys when he was younger - and yeah, I can get that, I mean I’ve seen cars that are really cool on the street and think they’re sexy. But as he got older, his feelings for cars grew stronger and more sexual.
Currently he’s “dating” a cute little Volkswagen beetle named Vanilla - he really considers her his girlfriend - but I guess she can be a bit boring, because he regularly spices up his sex life with Cinnamon (a 1973 Opal GT) and Ginger (a 1993 Ford Ranger Splash). Who knew mechanophiles were polyamourus!
And it’s a good thing cars don’t usually carry STIs since most of the cars he has had sex with belonged to strangers or were in car showrooms. Now that’s kinda sketchy, I mean, if anyone is going to be having sex with my car, it should be me! I don’t like the idea of guys sneaking around my parking garage looking for cars to sexually assault! And the car showrooms!? Isn’t that a little like busting into an all-girl school and having sex with the students?
Anyway, in an interview he said: “there are moments way out in the middle of nowhere when I see a little car parked and I swear it needs loving.” That actually sounds kinda cute and sweet, but he also said this: “there have been certain cars that attracted me and I would wait until night time, creep up to them and just hug and kiss them.” That’s a little closer to creepy than cute.
Now, I’m actually okay with him having sex with cars if that’s what makes him feel happy and complete in life - and really it sounds like it’s better for him to be fucking cars, because if he was behaving the same way with women (or men) he would be arrested!
The other part of this is that now everyone is wondering about the physics of having sex with cars. Sure there’s the stick-shift (would that vid turn on a mechanophile?) and judging from this pic, there seems to be something about the tail pipe. But sticking your dick in a tail pipe doesn’t seem very safe - esp if the car isn’t your own. Yeah, you can keep things sanitary by wearing a condom, but what if it’s hotter inside than you though? What about lube? What if you get stuck inside and the car’s owner returns to find you? Maybe he just engages in a little frottage all over the outside of the car?
What are your thoughts my dear readers?