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Hi, I'm Shay.

Welcome to The S Spot!

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Product Review - The Wooden Dildo

Some of you might remember that I tested a wooden dildo a few years ago. Unfortunately the guy who made that particular model has moved on to other things (I think furniture?), so I was very happy when Hans at contacted me and asked if I’d like to sample one of his toys.

Hans puts a lot of care into his dildos: he doesn’t use a lathe, instead he carves his toys using a band-saw and angle grinder - this allows him to add a lot more detail (i.e. fancy curves and bumps) and makes each toy unique. And the curves in Hans’ dildos do make them look even more natural and beautiful.

Not only is each dildo Hans makes unique, but they are eco-friendly because they are made from wood leftover after other projects.

After giving each dildo their special shape, he begins the lengthy process of sanding to make sure that every dildo is super smooth. Each dildo is also given at least five (!) coats of food grade varnish to finish them off - which makes them non-porous (i.e. safer) and means that you can wash them with soap and water and use any type of lube without risking damaging them (though you won’t want to put them in the dishwasher).

You can work with Hans to create something to your own specifications, but I decided to just pick something from the inventory displayed on his site. Hans works on his dildos in batches and when one batch is complete he photographs each dildo and adds them to his online inventory. He conveniently has his dildos sorted by wood type and by price range.

Hans’ dildo arrived for me in a lovely little velvet bag - perfect for storing it safely in my toy drawer when it’s not in use. As you can see from the picture, I picked a model on the smaller side, bumpy on one end with a g-spot curve on the other.

What I Liked: I absolutely love how this dildo looks, the wood is a gorgeous colour and it just looks so organically warm and inviting. I also love the feel of this dildo, once you pick it up, it’s hard to put down - the wood is SO silky smooth. This was my first “reversible” toy, which I think is a fantastic feature because it lets you quickly switch sensations without having to dig out another toy. My favourite side was the g-spot end, it felt great popping in and out of me. Being wooden, this toy quickly absorbed my body heat, which is nice because being warm makes it feel more comfortable and natural inside. This toy also held lube well.

What I Didn’t Like: There’s nothing I didn’t like about this toy - though next time I might go for the thicker model so that those beautiful pleasure ribs do even more.

This toy would be great for: anyone who is looking for a unique toy for themselves or a lover. This is also a toy that is perfect for dildo fans who want something more natural, more eco-friendly, and something that won’t leak toxic chemicals (since Hans doesn’t let anything toxic near his dildos).

My gorgeous wooden dildo from Hans has earned itself an 8.5!
Check out Hans’ amazing inventory for yourself HERE.


Comment from Curvaceous Dee
Time May 13, 2008 at 11:31 pm

Oh - how gorgeous! Now I absolutely want one of my own :)

xx Dee

Comment from Gadfly
Time May 14, 2008 at 1:50 am

I like Hans!

Well polished hardwood in black velvet. He knows his sensuality :D

Comment from exile
Time May 19, 2008 at 12:39 am

well, on thing that is definately a plus is they won’t gie you shit at the airport, after all, the x-ray won’t pick up the wood (it doesn’t pick up mine)

my only concern is the pourus nature of wood, i know they are varnished, but still…

i recomend a can of tompsons water seal next to the bed, just in case

Comment from Shay
Time May 19, 2008 at 12:43 am

Dee - You should get one, they are lovely!

Gad - haha actually it’s purple velvet, the photo just didn’t capture the colour right. ^_~ but I agree anyway.

Exile - uh lol you need to work on your reading comprehension kiddo. I mentioned in the post that it’s coated in five coats of food grade wood varnish (like a salad bowl). Go back to paragraph four and read it for reals this time. lol Also the water seal thing you suggested would be toxic which = very very bad.

Comment from AlwaysArousedGirl
Time May 19, 2008 at 12:51 am

Thompson’s Water Seal in the hoo-ha? You must be joking, Exile.

I’ve got one of Han’s dildos too. It’s absolutely gorgeous and I *love* the “green” nature of the product.


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