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Exes in the Spank Bank

A week or two ago I was talking (via Twitter) about how I know that at least one of my exes still keeps me (and some photos of me) in his “spank bank”.

What’s a spank bank?
It’s the area in a person’s mind (and/or computer) where they store sexy stuff (ideas, images, conversations) expressly for the purpose of using them for getting off when masturbating.


So what I want to know is, do you think this is okay?

Obviously we can’t control what other people put in their spank bank, but do you think exes should be off limits?

How would you feel if you found out that your ex still thought about you when masturbating, despite you both having moved on to new relationships?
Would you be flattered?  Creeped out?  Would you not care?

Similarly, how would you feel if you found out that the ex of your current partner still masturbates about them?
Would you be pissed off?  Would you feel proud?  Would you be indifferent?

Would/do you put an ex in your spank bank?
Why or why not?

Let me know!

(And go vote on the poll I just created over at Eden Fantasys.)


Comment from Sheppardde
Time August 18, 2009 at 12:17 am

I don’t think it’s really a big deal if an ex keeps you in their “spank bank.” I know personally I’d feel flattered if that happened to me.
As for the whole, your current’s ex continued to think about them, I think I’d feel a little proud that she was so awesome they continued to desire her.

Comment from Dan
Time August 18, 2009 at 12:42 am

I would not care if my ex let me in a spank bank. I really don’t know if our current relationship would be affected.

But it would be strange if I discover that the ex of my current girlfriend let her in a spank bank. I would take care about him, and would prevent her to came closer to him. =P

I have never masturbate thinking on a ex. At least, i don’t remember.
I have never done that with a person that I know personally. I think it’s so strange.

But it’s important to say that it’s hard to leave the good moments that you have passed with your partner from your memory. Some people could not know how to deal with this.

Comment from Tabitha
Time August 18, 2009 at 3:19 am

I have to agree with the statement that we can’t control what people think. That would just be eerie – possibly less so in this context though. ;) So, it just seems like trying and getting stressed about it is a waste of otherwise useful energy.

If an ex of mine was still thinking about me while masturbating I’d be totally psyched. After all, doesn’t that make me porn star in someone’s imaginary cinema? Sweet! I do have to agree with Dan, though. If this ex and I were on good terms then I’d be more concerned about how their current partner felt about this whole “spank bank” business.

My current partner is actually friends with all of his exes, and I’m out of town for a month. So, yeah, if I found out now that one of his friends was getting off thinking about him I’d be a little wary. In all other instances, I would be a little proud (because he’s just THAT awesome, and because I snagged him) and a little amused (because then I’d have no choice but to try and figure out what these girls are like when they are masturbating).


Yes, hands down (incidental, but I’ll keep the pun), I would totally keep an ex in the spank bank. There are some moments that no porn movie can ever capture. Beyond that, an ex would have responded to me and the images, moments etc. that I’d keep would be uniquely fitted to me. How perfect is that?

Comment from Kevin
Time August 18, 2009 at 9:44 am

Hmmmmmmm, hard to say. If an ex of mine where using images of me, I’d not really be bothered. That sort of thing just doesn’t. On the other hand, I can’t say that I’d be as carefree if an ex were looking at images of my wife. lol
As for my exes, I’ve not kept any, no.

Comment from Matt Murdock
Time August 18, 2009 at 12:55 pm

I think it is ok by having sex with them you gave them the memories of the experience how could you tell someone not to do that, it is like taking a gift back after you break up.

Comment from CyR00k
Time August 18, 2009 at 5:51 pm

I don’t think I’d be upset if an ex was masturbating while thinking of me. I just can’t imagine that actually happening.

I know my ex-girlfriends have fantasized about their ex-boyfriends while we were together. I think at the time it was rather a blow to my ego. Anymore it doesn’t bother me.

As to any of my exes’ ex-boyfriends fantasizing about them while they masturbated I don’t know really how to respond to that. I can’t really imagine that I would ever know. It’s kind of one of those things where you want to know why someone is telling you of all people in the first place.

As to the characters in my fantasies, they are all imaginary; I am not even the male lead in the story.

Comment from teh nerve
Time August 21, 2009 at 2:40 am

My friends and I like to call it the ‘wank bank’….

Comment from Julien
Time August 31, 2009 at 11:41 pm

I’d treat an ex masturbating to me like a friend masturbating to me: I’d be a bit flattered, but mostly I don’t care what they fantasize about. As for exes of my partners: strangely enough I’ve never dated anyone and been on familiar terms with their ex at the same time, so I’ve never thought about whether they still masturbated to my girlfriend, and even if I did they were always so abstract to me I’d have a hard time getting upset about it. If I ever dated someone and was on good terms with their ex, it might be a different story, but I’m really too lazy to hold a grudge or much jealousy. (Bonus: yep, I’ve kept plenty of exes in my spank bank, and even pictures of one on my computer. I never look at them anymore, but when I’m rummaging through my ‘memories’ folder and come across them, they always make me smile)

Comment from sterculius
Time September 1, 2009 at 10:08 am

I have everyone that I ever had sex with, male and female, in my mental spank bank, and I make withdrawals (and deposits) regularly and frequently.

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