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“Hi, Shay. this is alil off from ur ussal questions. But ur the only person i thot would have an idea. About a year ago. I tried internet dating. Past relationships hadn’t worked out. Due to my faults or theirs.Anyway. Me and my gf met on a site. started talking n such. Finaly decided to try dating with eachother over the internet. Even though there has been no physical activities. basicly the questions ur used to. We have shared alot of mental bonding to replace the physical. now for my problem. a few days ago. she told me she had lost her all attraction to me. But she’s still in love with me just the way she was before she lost it. Now I would think this would be a big problem for our futer. and were getting close to the time were going to meet. (safly ofc) and if shes not attracted to me. i dun think shes rly gonna wanna be going on a date with me, love me or not. So what my question here is. Do you have any idea’s on what we can do to revive her past attration to me. I’m already trying to re-arange my looks abit. We have had a happy relationship together and I realy wanna try to fix it in any possible way I can.“
It sounds like you’ve fallen into her “friend zone” – that is, she thinks of you more as a friend than as a lover. It’s the whole “I love you, but I’m not IN love with you” thing. We like to categorize the people in our lives in a number of different ways: school friends, work friends, and childhood friends; immediate family and extended family; friends and more-than-friends.
Once you’re in someone’s friend zone, it’s pretty hard to bust out of it – it can happen but it usually takes exceptional circumstances which are, like I said, exceptional and unusual. I don’t think re-arranging your looks is going to help re-kindle the romantic attraction you’re hoping for; so if you’re working on your appearance, I hope you’re doing it more for yourself than for her.
My advice is to enjoy having her as a friend and confidant, I’m sure you’ve shared quite a lot in your time chatting online together and it would be a shame to throw all that away. However, I don’t think you should press the romance issue any further with her, maybe she’ll change her mind, maybe she won’t, but that’s up to her and not you.
Good luck!
