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My post answering a reader’s question about CyberSex on Tuesday sparked an interesting convo on Twitter and I thought I’d share it with the rest of you. ^_^
[The players: Me, BadInfluenceGirl, PycheDiver, and DocStrange]
Shay: I think my lack of interest in cybering now comes from too many bad sessions in the past. I don’t like to let anyone else ruin my fun time
DocStrange: bad in what way?
Shay: @docstrange boring, went places I didn’t want it to, but especially boring
PsycheDiver: Ah, see that can happen easily if you don’t know how to read the signals
B.I.G.: for me it’s that my HANDS are BUSY
Shay: @badinfluencegrl I agree! If I need to use 2 hands, I want my two hands free!
B.I.G.: that’s it in a nutshell yes
Shay: Besides, it started feeling silly typing AND ESP READING “oooh yeah baby, right there” “ooooo I’m cuming” “drghdfkgjhdfiurtwienfgd … I just came”
DocStrange: Lol, yes I see your point. that sounds more like ‘talking dirty’ than what I would consider cybering
PsycheDiver: Blah. No skill on his part
Shay: @PsycheDiver oh no no, this isn’t just one guy – it’s a series of different people, over a long span of time.
PsycheDiver: In cybering it’s really important to know what the other person wants and needs, just like IRL
DocStrange: a good cyber should be like a story and you should have hands free.
PsycheDiver: @docstrange I’m not so sure it should necessarily be that one-sided. It can be, but not all the time.
DocStrange: @PsycheDiver depends on the situation, but to each their own!
Shay: my vote is still smeh, maybe I’m too much of a control freak now? ;)
PsycheDiver: @Shay So take control! Give someone else the pleasure of being along for your awesome ride. It’s fun to write for people.
B.I.G.: @PsycheDiver but dude, she writes smut. i write smut so you can whack off without typing… and so i can get off on THAT visual
Shay: @PsycheDiver That’s right! hense DoaF ^_^
~*~
So, what are your thoughts?
I don’t sounds too helpful, but I hope I was!
I know I’d love to write smut so you can get off, Shay. ;]
Cybering usually ends up being very one sided in my experience. Growing up I used to “cyber” quite a bit, but in reality it was more me writing long story like posts for these girls to read and getting a word or two for myself and at some point I just got tired of trying to find people I enjoyed writing for because most of the girls I did it for were only ever interested in having me write for them and never actually speaking to me about anything else which made for very poor motivation when it came to trying to get them off. *Sighs* As in the real world, it’s so bloody difficult to find a good partner.
I was done with cybering as soon as webcams became cheap and easy. Cybering with today’s available technology seems a lot like listening to a radio broadcast of an event that’s also on tv: good for nostalgic purposes, but inferior to the alternative.
I believe, like skin to skin sex, cybering is what you make of it and it gets better with practice. I love it. It’s a muse for my writing, gets me off, helped me years ago to learn to ask for what I wanted in bed, and made my sex life less vanilla because I could safely explore fantasies before actually doing them. I do understand about some of the less than optimum experiences that others have mentioned here. Always give things a second chance, it’s fun!
I can’t say I have a lot of experience in the area (but I guess its similar to phone sex). I found it best to relive past experiences or shared fantasies. Then when you can’t bare it any more both dash of at the same time. :)
Cybering sucks for me. All the time I tried it the other part came and I was barely aroused.
It was like you said, I read: Owhwhbfjwhebfjsefc I came.
And I was like ‘WTF? Really? I’m not even starting yet. Fuck! ‘
It’s an online fail. Watching at pr0n or reading h-mangas is the way to go if you’re lonely.
I have been cybering (anyone remember calling it net.sex?) for years and really enjoy it, when the partner is good. Both male and female can come out to either being really good or really lame. Cybersex on Secondlife is great because you’ve got the visuals to go along with the text. Sometimes all I need to do is watch some people going at it, even if I can’t hear / read what they are saying.