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Cappuccino for Me, Decaf for my Boobs

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I nearly did a spit-take in the car when I heard on the radio that a new study has found that drinking coffee can shrink a woman’s breasts! I don’t drink much coffee myself (just a few ice-caps in the summer), but I know A LOT of people are who totally addicted and I needed to know how worried they should be.

I looked up the paper and found it online – while it does sound like coffee won’t have this effect on all women (only about 50% of women, maybe more,  carry the right allele), it is still a very interesting finding.

The study involved having 300 women who are avid coffee fans come into the lab and (among other measures) have their boob size checked.

The caffeine in coffee does have an effect on the hormones in our bodies and this study found that drinking 3+ cups of coffee a day on a regular basis can lead to some breast shrinkage in women.

It’s not like you could go from a C cup to an A cup, more like from a C cup to a C- or a B+ cup  but still, it is a change – all thanks to caffeine’s effect on the estrogen in your body.

Turns out that it is a delicate balance, because drinking coffee can do a little to help prevent breast cancer.  There are substances in the coffee that can modify women’s metabolism to make them slightly more resistant to tumors.

Before you men think you are off the hook about this coffee thing, you should know that caffeine has a totally different effect on testosterone than on estrogen.  Too much coffee will make your pecs flabby and can give you squooshy little man-boobs.

Just a little something to think about when you make your afternoon coffee run today.

16 comments to Cappuccino for Me, Decaf for my Boobs

  • Cayman J

    Now that is a study that I can get behind. I wonder how I get on the research teams for some of these studies?

  • Randonymous

    The sample size is very small as usual with these experiments, so it means little to nothing. Further, the 50% implies that there’s no effect or even a correlation at all. Even if there was a correlation, a correlation isn’t the same as a cause. Rather there might be some life circumstances that lead to increased consumption of coffee and also a decrease of body fat. When you’re very busy, you likely drink more coffee and eat less, unless you’re the kind of person who likes to eat a lot under stress.

    Of course, this kind of trivial study sells well to yellow press and such.

  • What Randonymous said, plus it needs to be replicated by other studies.

  • Shay

    Whoa whoa whoa chill with the harshness folks. A sample size over 100 isn’t bad. Also, the 50% is my estimation of the proportion of the population carrying the c allele (the modifying factor here).
    But you are right, a correlation never equals causation – BUT it does suggest a relationship. Let’s reserve final judgment until someone can get us a copy of the full text article.

  • Maikeru

    There’s also the matter of caffeine dehydrating the body a tad. One of my previous girlfriends would actually gain a half cup in size and some extra perkiness when drinking more water (she tended towards being slightly dehydrated due to working long hours, going to class, and not having water convenient at the time)—fairly impressive considering that she had a C+ and would be borderline D when properly hydrated.

  • mer

    So is it simply drinking coffee that reduces breast size or all caffeinated drinks? I rarely coffee, however the going joke in my house is that I’m 97% tea… is there anything saying that tea might cause the same affects? Just wondering :)

  • Shay

    Maikeru – talk to me when you’ve done a scientific study and taken proper measurements.

    Mer – I think the thing about the coffee is that it has much more caffeine than other caffeinated drinks; but if you were drinking A LOT of tea maybe you’d see an effect – I dunno. :)

  • Futanarikko

    Let’s hope Tea is not the same!

    For breast’s sake!


    I’m a man, but I’m scared as well.

    The future of tits in danger thanks to perfect breakfast X_x

  • Did you read all the way to the end? Men have something to worry about for their own bodies too.

  • Maikerug

    I’d rather enjoy conducting such a study (for the hetero male obvious reason and for the curiosity reason), but I’d probably need to get a bit of help from a few female friends who were bio majors as to have some level of credibility and connection to the right people.

  • Maikeru

    If it is indeed caffeine, then I’d say that this is something for gamer sorts (myself included) and students who pull all-nighters to fear. The reason being that many drink energy drinks that include high dosages of caffeine.

  • Shay

    no wonder male gamers aren’t known for having impressive pecs

  • Futanarikko

    O_O I missed that part.

    Damn, I don’t want to have actual tits. LOL

    Thanks Say ^^

    You are so (as far as I can say that) cute!

  • Maikeru

    Although I’m personally attempting to buck the trend. I wholeheartedly agree with this comic

  • mer

    Thanks Shay for answer my question. :)

  • Joe

    This is a great pic

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