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People-walking-in-gasmia – a different kind of coitus interruptus

I kinda really love this reader’s question – it brings back memories of high school sex, where you’re sneaking around, horny and trying not to get caught by anyone’s parents.  I think one of the best tools for having high school type sex (i.e. sex when you’re still living at home and your parents aren’t down with you having boys in your room with the door closed) is getting your driver’s license.  A car, to me, was the best way to get away from potential familial interruptions AND the bonus when it’s your own car is that you can keep a supply of condoms in the glove-box and a box of tissues under the seat for clean-up.

Anyway, enough about me, let’s move on to this reader’s question.

hey ok well ive been reading your blog for a long while, maybe a year or so maybe more and love your insight into things.  Heres my story, ive been dating this girl  and i really love her… we have started to become physical… i love to finger her and watch her get off, we have had sex once, but had to end it early because someone walked in… niether of us came. she has given me a blowjob twice and the second i was a second away from coming when again someone walked in… ok well the point of this story is i havn’t had an orgasam anytime that we have been together… she has… ive made sure of that… ive kinda searched and found what i think is my problem… anorgasmia… somthing along those lines but im not sure, im thinking becuase of my masterbation over the years i may have desecsitzed myself i still masterbate every now and then maybe twice or week and i think that might still be my problem… another thing i think you should know… is im only 18… care to shine a little light on the subject and any advice you have…

Hmmm well it sounds to me like you have people-walking-in-gasmia, it’s really a very serious condition that can only be cured by having safe sex in secure environments, where you are unlikely to have someone walk in on you (like a car parked somewhere isolated, a hotel room, your place when your parents are away, moving out and getting a good lock for your room, etc). ^_~

In all seriousness, from what you’ve told me it doesn’t sound like you need to worry too much about anorgasmia. Masturbating twice a week doesn’t sound at all excessive and you’re still fairly young. My advice really is for you two to try a few more times (with proper protection of course) in situations where you aren’t likely to be walked in on – knowing that you could get in trouble at any moment does make it kinda hard to orgasm (especially when you really are constantly being intterupted) so it’s no surprise that you’ve been having difficulties.

Best of luck!

*Ironic side note:  my high school boyfriend actually did develop anorgasmia after we broke up , weird.

9 comments to People-walking-in-gasmia – a different kind of coitus interruptus

  • Si

    I masturbate up to 4-5 times a day and have most of my life and im 19 now i dont anorgasmia is that easy to develop or else id be in more trouble lol

  • sillybit

    I’ve recently discovered this site and like it very much; one thing to mention about this post, though, it’s not necessarily a good idea to keep condoms in the glove box, especially latex ones. Latex can detiorate in heat, and glove boxes get very hot easily. It’s no good to keep condoms on hand if they’re ruined.

  • Shay

    Si – wow, I’m surprised you don’t chafe ^_~

    sillybit – Thanks, actually I was wondering if anyone would pick up on that. As soon as I mentioned how I used to keep condoms in the glove-box my inner sexpert spoke up saying “nooo you’re not supposed to do that!” However, I was lucky enough at the time that I was able to go through my small condom stashes fast enough that they didn’t have a chance to deteriorate.
    More on condom storage here if you’re interested:

  • mandy

    ya kno, living at home is a hassle. me & my ex b/f almost got caught several times having sex.

    occasionally, tho we’d go somewhere else. like, a friend’s house when they weren’t home, lol or a motel.

  • Maikeru

    Personally I tend to keep a few in my outer jacket pockets. I never really leave the jacket anywhere where it would get too hot and I rarely wear the jacket until it’s actually cold enough that any heat coming from my body would actually make the condoms just under room temperature.

    Sometimes I carry them in a small backpack since I’m of the habit of carrying one (always good to have a flashlight, an umbrella, point and shoot digital camera, some matches, a few napkins, and a spare pair of chopsticks at all times—figured I might as well put in a few condoms as well). It’s always good to be prepared and these days it’s not as uncommon for guys to carry daypack sized backpacks, shoulder bags/laptop bags, and sling-backpacks everywhere they go. The best part is that you wouldn’t normally keep your laptop—or other stuff in your bag—anywhere that wouldn’t be good for condoms.

  • Maikeru

    BTW, does anyone find it interesting that the hentai car is a left-drive vehicle as Japan is a right-drive society?

    Well unless the picture was left-right flipped.

  • Whoever

    In Japan they drive on the left side of the road as in Great Britain and few other countries. In any case, Manga and Anime often don’t take place in Japan and sometimes they are not even produced in Japan, so you shouldn’t assume that it has anything to do with Japan anyway.

  • Julien

    To give another male perspective to this post…
    I actually had a lot of trouble coming when I started having sex for the first time too, and even before that when we would mess around with hand and mouth play… sometimes, I would just have to give up on it. However, I knew then that part of it really was in my head, the sort-of stress of the situation and the fact that it was a completely new thing. Things have gotten a lot better over the years and girlfriends since then, however it still takes me longer than I would imagine it does most people… but I don’t consider that a bad thing, because it means I have great stamina. I know when you start there’s almost a rush for the orgasm, but I hope that as you go along you find that there really is a lot more to sex than that… sex can be a ton of fun, even if you don’t orgasm at all. Also, remember that communication is a tool you can always use… if something’s not working, tell your girlfriend, and you can try other things (this leads to experimentation, which is one of my favorite things).
    Best of luck to you!

  • Maikeru

    As far as the question goes I’d say that how quickly you finish can sometimes have something to do with emotions and how well rested you are (if you’re dead tired you might not be able to finish actually). The physiology of the girl you’re with and what position you’re using can also have an effect. I mean I personally have never finished due to oral despite how good the girl was—although I once was extremely close. Furthermore, I’ve actually discovered (well rediscovered since I later saw it in some hentai as well as porn from Asia—though for some reason it’s not in porn from Western nations) a position that’s “too good” when used with some girls, but is sometimes the best—or only—way for me to end a love-making session with certain girls. I’ve gone around 4 hours (until we called it quits because it was late and her body was physically drained) with one girlfriend while I had trouble going for anything longer than an hour with another (she’s a big fan of doing Kegels when bored, so that tends to change things).

    So really there are numerous factors involved with orgasming—your own physiology is only one of them.

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