Bringing Sexy Back for the Holidays

The holiday season can make for a very stressful time. There’s dealing with Christmas parties, gift buying, Secret Santa stuff, baking, sending xmas cards, not to mention navigating crowded malls and parking lots.

We’re all so busy that it’s easy to forget to take a moment to indulge our sexy selves over the holidays.

It’s no surprise that many people end up stressed out and burnt out by the time the New Year rolls around. But not this year! In an effort to bring back the spirit of the saying, “It’s better to give AND receive,” I have compiled a helpful list of tips for keeping your life sexy this holiday season.

A lot of people find that the flood of Christmas music at this time of year drives them crazy. This is especially true if you’ve ever worked in retail or happen to spend a lot of time in shopping malls. One way to keep yourself sane is to create a playlist of your favourite “gettin’ busy” songs and burn it onto a CD or upload it to your mp3 player. Something groovy like “Below the Stars” by King Kobb Steely or hot like “The Way I Are” by Timberland is sure to help you drown out that 40th rendition of “White Christmas.”

Worried that you’re going to be bored at holiday parties again this year? Try shaving/waxing your pubes before the party. Thinking about your silky smooth crotch is bound to be more interesting than listening to that boring friend of a friend drone on and on about their boring work/research. As an extra bonus, you try not wearing any underwear as well!

For those of you in a relationship, here’s a fun holiday experiment that you could try. Some fruits, when eaten regularly, can give semen and female juices a sweeter flavour . A great way to really bring the holiday spirit into your home could be to curl up with your sweetie and run a little empirical analysis of these claims. Remember, it’s better to give AND receive. In case the fruit doesn’t work, you can keep a candy cane handy to help wash away any bitter aftertaste.

If you don’t beleive in the powers of fruit, here is another idea. Baking gingerbread is a tasty holiday tradition, but this year you can introduce a new twist. Treat your partner to his or her own giant, you-sized cookie! Get a tube of icing or dust yourself with icing sugar and decorate yourself up — better yet, make an evening of it and decorate each other — clearly outlining essential areas with icing. Remember to be careful not to get sugar too close to or inside your vagina — yeast infections are not very festive. But feel free to put icing on all your other body parts: draw patterns like snowflakes on nipples or create a festive scene on a tummy or back. The best part of this will be licking the icing off – because, honestly, how else are you supposed clean it up? ^_~

Some people absolutely love holiday movies and some people really hate them, or at least really hate some of them. Try this: the next time your most hated Christmas movie comes on, be it Charlie Brown Christmas or National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, watch a porno instead. It will be much more uplifting and fulfilling. And it is so easy to find porn these days that you really have no excuse not to try this idea. Check in the bargain bin at your local sex shop or look for some torrents over the internet. Besides, in case you need extra incentive, a good orgasm is the perfect thing to help with your seasonal stress. In fact, scientists have suggested that preventative orgasms work the best, so you’d better get started!

And let’s not forget poor old Santa — unless he isn’t part of your holiday tradition, if that’s the case, then by all means forget all about him. The jolly one spends his whole night delivering packages all over the world, with just stale cookies and glasses of lukewarm milk as his reward. This Christmas eve, leave the old guy something that would be a real treat: some porn, lube and a box of tissues. Just think of how refreshed he will be after taking a little break at your place. So refreshed, I’ll bet, that he’d leave something extra special for you under the tree this year – perhaps that big vibrating strap-on that you’ve been hoping for. ^_~
See, it really is better to give and receive.