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Reader Question – Is Being Small When Soft Bad?

Dear Shay,
I am 18, 5′ 8″, 235 lbs. and am concerned about my fiancee seeing my penis for the first time on our wedding night. My erect penis is “average size” but my flaccid penis is only approximately 1″ or so. Is this something I should be worried about or not? The only reason i ask is because i am a virgin (so is she) and am extremely shy when it comes to my penis.
shy in the U.S.

A small-ish flaccid penis is nothing to worry about. Your “resting” size (which can vary greatly) has nothing to do with your erect size. There’s no reason to be shy or worried about your penis, it sounds perfectly normal and I’m sure your fiancee will be delighted when you consummate your marriage.

If you are still worried though, there are some positions that you can use to help maximize your penis size so you can get in deeper and fill her up (see some listed here HERE along with my rant on penis size worries). Though you might not want to try these on your wedding night if you’re both virgins – it’s best to keep it simple for your first time.

Lastly, you could also try changing your lifestyle a little bit (not that I know how it is right now) because it sounds like you could stand to drop a few pounds. I only suggest this, not to be harsh, but because a good friend of mine found that by hitting the gym a few times a week he was able to lose some weight and discovered that his penis seemed bigger. Apparently it’s not that uncommon, according to some sources you can gain an inch in length for every 30-ish pounds you drop (up to a certain point I’m assuming) check out this podcast and fast-forward to around the 11min mark.

Good luck and I hope that helps.

12 comments to Reader Question – Is Being Small When Soft Bad?

  • SJ

    It’s not a big deal really it’s not going to stay flaccid long :)

    Married at 18??? Not my biz.

  • Matt Murdock


  • Gadfly

    There’s a surgery that cuts a suspensor ligament that will let it hang lower when limp and, supposedly, doesn’t influence its rigid behavior.

    Seems a touch invasive for my tastes.


    Just to add, speaking from experience a bit and word of mouth, take the advice and drop the pounds. I not sure that I had “growth” as explained but I had more vigor and it was appreicated by both parties. Also had a friend that tried to get his wife pregnant. No worky. Lost about big weight ( he was a big guy ) and about a month later, bingo, bango, prego.

    Best of luck!

  • hc573

    Cutting that ligament will cause your penis to lose it’s upward direction when erect. Surgery can have complications too, not something I’d do to my penis.

    I doubt it will help much when flaccid either, some guys just shrink more than others.

  • Gadfly

    hc: Now that you mention it… I can see how the architecture would function that way. Interesting.

  • Mr. Cellophane

    I’m all for fitness – healthy is hot, but another (faster) way to help with appearance of magnitude is to shave/trim pubic hair. Bushy pubes can hide a good chunk of penis from view.

    Trimming’s also courteous for those moments when she’s “oralizing between your thighs” as Monty Python would have it.

    But as sj said, it probably won’t matter much during the honeymoon. You’ll be asking how to get it flaccid again.

  • Anonymous

    I’m a thinner guy with a dick that’s pretty small when it’s soft, but has a lot of girth when it gets big and u kno what….I LOVE IT?

    Why? Nothing better than that type of surprise for your woman. Size does matter, dont get me wrong. But I know from experience that the foreplay, the motion, and the pure passion you exude during sex can make up for any short-cummings you might think you have (Well, almost). Because in the end it’s really about confidence…again this is just my experience. Ladies? Agree/disagree?

  • Stevo

    Many of my female friends that have been with men of proportional sizes all agree that size has little to do with pleasing the woman. In the end, you’re wanting to please the woman, no?

    In terms of sword-fighting; the way the sword was made factors little into the outcome of the battle. What matters is how one wields it. One who brandishes an ax can be brought down by the one who is a master of the short-bladed daggers.

    In the long run, size does help, but *only* if you know how to use it correctly. The axeman was brought down because he relied on strength instead of precision.

    If you aim to please her, focus on that and you yourself will be pleased.

  • Anonymous

    When you lose weight, your penis doesn’t actually grow more. It’s just that more of what’s already there is revealed–you’re losing fat all over your body, including the pad at the base of the penis’s shaft.

    Another benefit to weight loss would be the likely increase in testosterone associated with fat loss and muscle gain.

  • exile

    dude, as a guy let me tell you, your “travel size” doesn’t mean anything.

    if you’re worried, only let her see it after she’s seen it “in action” that way you don’t have the fear of a giggle or two
    (fyi, experienced girls know that things grow)

  • Shay

    SJ – That’s right ^_^

    Matt – ?

    Gad – to add to what hc said, I would like to direct you to this post:

    ATLLG – haha nice story ^_~

    Hc – thanks!

    Mr. Cello – You know, I totally forget to suggest the trim job. I think it’s because I’m always assuming that people already know to trim. But you’re right, one can never assume anything – so thanks for bringing this up!

    Anon1 – plus! having a small package when soft might keep it safer, which sounds good to me. PLUS, speaking as a girl, it looks TOTALLY cute all small like that. ^_^

    Stevo – um yes, that is a very good point. ^_^

    Anon2 – right, that’s what the audio clip talks about. And let’s not forget the overall general feeling of sexiness that can come from having a healthier body. ^_^

    exile – I <3 the term “travel size”!

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