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Star Wars... Dirtier than you Thought

I fully blame JeN for this post.

You may not know this, but I am a huge Sci Fi fan.
And one of the movie sextrilogies that I have enjoyed since I was a little kid is Star Wars.
Yes, I even saw the first one in theaters when it was first released – as a twinkle in my parents’ eyes. ^_~

So, being a nerd and perve and being on this train of thought (because of JeN) I decided to look up StarWars lines that could be taken in other ways than the ones in which they were originally intended.

I think you know what is coming (heh cumming).

Brace yourself for Star Wars S Spot-ified!

“Remember, concentrate on the moment. Feel, don’t think. Use your instincts.” Obi-Wan Kenobi to Anakin Skywalker prior to the podrace on Tatooine.

Sounds like great advice for sex – feel don’t think, use your instincts – even though your brain should be tuned into the sex, it’s best not to be thinking too hard because you might get distracted.

“I will make it legal.” – Darth Sidious to Nute Gunray


“Just because there are two of you, do not assume you have the advantage.” Count Dooku

Sounds like this threesome is about to get a little more exciting…

“I will do what I must…” -Obi-Wan to Darth Vader before they duel

Obi-Wan must have read my post about teamwork

“Execute Order Sixty-Six.” Emperor Palpatine to his Clone Troopers

Ah just more three orders to go and then we can have some fun ^_~

“Look at the size of that thing.” Wedge Antilles, when approaching the Death Star.

Heh, that’s what she said last night.

“You came in that thing? You’re braver than I thought!” Princess Leia to Han Solo about the Millennium Falcon

Hey now!

“Get clear, Wedge; you can’t do any more good back there!” Luke Skywalker

“Get in there you big furry oaf! I don’t care what you smell!” Han Solo to Chewbacca as they jump into the garbage chute after rescuing Princess Leia.

“Let’s blow this thing and go home.” – Han Solo to Luke Skywalker after blasting the TIE fighter holding Darth Vader.

“Stay on target!” -Gold Five

“Hello, what have we here?” -Lando Calrissian

Hmm maybe you should have Leia check it out…

“Impressive. Most impressive.” Darth Vader to Luke Skywalker

They must be in the Death Star locker room. ^_~

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18 comments to Star Wars… Dirtier than you Thought

  • JeN

    HA HA HA HA!
    Shay, you made me choke on my juice.
    My favourite is still “Get in there you big furry oaf! I don’t care what you smell!”
    The Leia/Chewy picture is wrong on so many levels.

    I kind of want to see Ultraviolet but it looks way too similar to Aeon Flux (which I did see) so I think I’ll wait till video for that one.

    You’re the sci-fi nerd and I’m the video game nerd!

  • Dielo

    I can’t believe you missed Darth Vader’s line “I have felt him”, I’m not a Star Wars fan but it’s in Return of the Jedi I believe. I’ll have to ask my friend for the full line/context. There are others, I’m sure…

    Oh yeah, at one point Darth goes “I MUST obey my Master”, leading us to believe he’s in some sort of D/s relationship with the Emperor.

  • Dielo

    Han Solo: “and I thought they smelt bad… on the outside”

    *ducks hurled brick*

  • Dielo

    Hang on, I’ve thought of another one.
    In ROTJ there’s a bit of Jabba’s alien language that sounds like he says “wanky Chewbacca”, which always made us giggle when we wuz kids (wank = masturbate in UK parlance, obv).

  • Lord & Ms C

    u dirty, dirty girl…

  • Shay

    JeN – At least I made you choke on your juice – now THAT’S the mark of a good post! ^_~ I think that UltraViolet was worth seeing in the theater (and I’m picky).

    Dielo – I checked out that line, it doesn’t quite work because he says that he senses something in the force, not someone else. I had to discard a few when I was going through them.

  • Shay

    Lord&Miss – but you already knew that ^_~

  • Lord & Ms C

    did’nt know u were reading that as we wrote it!…must say as far as Ultraviolet is concerned, there’s a really good british TV show of the same name with Jack Davenport & Suzanne Harker, with alot of Vampires…very recommended xxx

  • ArtfulDodger

    Before Vader started using Viagra. “I find your lack of faith disturbing.”

    “we’ll take that one, the little one.” Owen Lars, always wondered what him and Aunt Beero were up to.

    I do a very good Yoda voice, which is always good for a laugh, just say anything remotely sexual in that voice! :)

  • ArtfulDodger

    Hey, maybe for fun someday I’ll do an audio post of an erotic story as Yoda!! That would be funny.

  • Shay

    Lord&Miss – hmm I’ll have to look into that when i get a chance.

    Art – haha!! You should! That would be hilarious!

  • :P fuzzbox

    ‘Luke, Who’s yo daddy?’

    ‘Use the force Luke. Over and Over and Over.’

    “I love you.” “I know now get your finger out of my ass.”

    ‘Do or do not there is no try. Now get back up there until you get it right.’

  • Ranea

    ‘Lost a planet Obi-Wan has. If it was up his ass he’d know.’

    ‘Padme my ass. Paddle my ass.’

  • DZER

    Any Chewbacca sound is close to a cumming growl …


    • Darth Vader: “I have you now!”

    • Gold Leader: “It’s no good down here, I can’t maneuver!”

    • Han Solo: “Get in there, you big furry oaf! I don’t care what you smell!”

    • Princess Leia: “Into the garbage chute, flyboy.”

    • Governor Tarkin: “Perhaps she would respond to an alternative form of persuasion.”

    • Princess Leia: “When you came in here, didn’t you have a plan for getting out?”

  • JUnderCovers

    You know, I thought as a lifelong Star Wars geek I’d have more to contribute here, but you’re very thorough in your requirements (quite the taskmistress!) so I won’t bother trying. Dzer came up with some good ones.

    I’m frankly just distracted by the topless Padme, not to mention Natalie Portman’s appearance on SNL last night. I’ve always thought I liked her, although she’s not really my type physically (too petite and delicate), but she was fearless and funny as hell last night, especially the rap video she did. Dirty-mouthed girls are always hot! I’m sure it’s on iTunes today if you didn’t catch it last night.

  • horny guy

    Space Balls had even more stuff, but it was a Star Wars spoof so I think it was expected.

  • padme

    Hey Shay,
    I found the star wars pictures through a search for star wars sex. How did you find them? THey were pretty neat. Great blog post. I havn’t been on your blog for a while but I promise to catch up today. :)

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