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I’m always up for trying toys with something original about them, and the Femblossom that my friends at EmotionalBliss sent me certainly fits the bill.
Firstly, as you can see in the pic above, it’s got an interesting shape: like a pussy scoop. The idea being that it’ll stimulate your entire vulva at once if you want; but if you’re picky you can press the tip on the areas that you’re most interested in vibrating.
Secondly, the Femblossom is a self-cleaning sex toy. After wetting the toy and wiping it down, it sheds a thin layer of molecules, revealing a sterile layer underneath – which I think is pretty cool.
Thirdly, this vibe heats up (on purpose); different heats are associated with different speeds (faster = hotter), but it works best if you let it pre-heat a little before you use it.
Femblossom is also a rechargeable vibe, which is nice, and it arrived pre-charged, which is even nicer. :) It has more vibration programs than I could pay attention to count, including some very nice pulse settings. And it came with a tube of silicone lube. Now, on to the review:
What I liked: In terms of it’s shape, I’m not sure I loved the cupping-ness of this vibe’s shape, it felt nice but I much preferred how it felt when I only used the tip. I didn’t think the heat would be a big deal, but I ended up quite liking it – it felt cosy and did amp up the sexiness a tich. As we all know, I’m a sucker for a good pulse setting on a vibe, and the Femblossom had a bunch that I really enjoyed.
What I didn’t like: It was a bit of a pain having to let the vibe pre-heat, especially because it’s quite loud – loud enough to alarm my cat. The sound actually reminded me of an electric razor, so at best someone might think you’re shaving if they hear you using it in the next room.
This toy would be great for: someone looking for an interesting vibe, but who won’t have a problem with it being a little noisy.
The Femblossom earned a 7 out of 10:
Hmmm. The bit about self-cleaning is tripping my Pseudoscience Marketing Speak Bullshit Detector. Of course, when you wet-and-wipe-down pretty-much *anything*, it’ll shed a “thin layer of molecules” — but not in the sense that it’ll leave an actually sterile layer underneath. So there might be truth to the claim, but I can’t help but think that if there actually were technology of which that claim was true in a stronger and more meaningful sense, then the toy would be more expensive, or we’d have that tech on a whole bunch more things.
So: caution. Clean your toys properly. Even — maybe especially — when they make outlandish claims like that.
Uh… thanks Anon.
I actually was paraphrasing from what the packaging says so that could be why it didn’t quite meet your science standards – there was actually more details… something about silver I think… that I can’t quite remember and I’m a billion miles away from the packaging at the moment.
By all means, if you’d like to set me up with some agar and sterile petri dishes I’d be more than happy to do extensive cleanliness tests on this and some of my other toy cleaners.
Heh, sounds like a good excuse for getting the toys messy in the first place. I like your approach to science :)
Seriously though, I didn’t mean any criticism of your writing. I love this blog to bits. I just get grumpy with marketing pseudoscience. Especially when it could be quite dicey in its effect, and ultimately ruin someone’s fun.
Silver sounds promising… They might’ve made it out of a nicely microbe-inhospitable kind of stuff. That’d be clever.
haha I’ll check it out when I get back later this week