Reader Question – Is there a Polite Way to Ask For Trimmed Bush?
I spotted this question asked on an earlier post about pubic grooming:
“When I met my girlfriend, she used to shave, leave a nice little strip but now (about a year on) she leaves it.
Is there anyway [sic] I can breach this subject without upsetting her? Am I wrong to want her to do that?”
This is a tricky topic indeed – well, it can be, it depends on your partner and your relationship. For some couples it isn’t a problem if one partner wants to try something or wants their partner to do something different; they can ask without worry because they know that their partner will not be offended.
But it sounds like you might be worried about her ability to handle (or perhaps even recognize) constructive criticism or suggestions about her appearance.
Some of us can get a little sensitive about our appearance – it;s as if our partner asking for a change means that there is something wrong with us or that we have failed in some way. Of course this is silly. And you should make sure that your partner knows it.
A good way to bring up this topic is delicately. You need to let her know that you think she is super sexy but that you also wish she’d start shaving/waxing again because it was a nice treat.
Contrary to what some people might say, I don’t think you’re wrong to want her to groom again. It’s just pubic hair – people don’t usually flip out if you tell them that you liked how their hair was cut last year or that you think they would look better with longer or shorter hair. In fact, it’s not that different from asking if she would start wearing lacy lingerie more often.
There are a few different ways to approach this issue with her:
“Hunny, how come you don’t trim your pussy fur anymore? I really liked how it looked – it was really hot!“
“Hey sweety, look at this picture I found online/in my e-mail from *crazy friend*. Yours looked like this when we first started dating – man that was so hot!” ( the “hint hint” approach)
Or you could groom yourself, she might notice the change and be inspired to follow your example, or she might ask you about it and then you can respond with “I was thinking about how much I liked it when you used to shave/wax and decided to do a little grooming myself for you.“
You could even give her a gift certificate for a bikini (or Brazilian) wax as a gift.
It’s not wrong to ask your partner to try something different or to bring back an old favourite – but it wouldn’t be right to pressure her or make her feel guilty. Maybe she’s started taking you for granted and being reminded about how hot you think she looks a certain way might remind her of how hot you both are for each other.
Some people have equated pubic grooming (shaving, waxing, etc) to labial and other genital cosmetic surgery, but that’s like equating a new haircut with a face lift or nose job! It’s just hair, being two or three feet lower on your body shouldn’t make it taboo.
Another nice thing about it just being hair – it grows back. You can trim/wax/shave it any way you like and when it grows back you can try something different or let it go wild! (But if you are going to let it go wild, please keep in mind a lover who might want to go down on you without having to bring along a comb. ^_~)