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Hi, I'm Shay.

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Reader Question – Is there a Polite Way to Ask For Trimmed Bush?

I spotted this question asked on an earlier post about pubic grooming:

“When I met my girlfriend, she used to shave, leave a nice little strip but now (about a year on) she leaves it.
Is there anyway [sic] I can breach this subject without upsetting her? Am I wrong to want her to do that?”

This is a tricky topic indeed – well, it can be, it depends on your partner and your relationship. For some couples it isn’t a problem if one partner wants to try something or wants their partner to do something different; they can ask without worry because they know that their partner will not be offended.

But it sounds like you might be worried about her ability to handle (or perhaps even recognize) constructive criticism or suggestions about her appearance.
Some of us can get a little sensitive about our appearance – it;s as if our partner asking for a change means that there is something wrong with us or that we have failed in some way. Of course this is silly. And you should make sure that your partner knows it.

A good way to bring up this topic is delicately. You need to let her know that you think she is super sexy but that you also wish she’d start shaving/waxing again because it was a nice treat.

Contrary to what some people might say, I don’t think you’re wrong to want her to groom again. It’s just pubic hair – people don’t usually flip out if you tell them that you liked how their hair was cut last year or that you think they would look better with longer or shorter hair. In fact, it’s not that different from asking if she would start wearing lacy lingerie more often.

There are a few different ways to approach this issue with her:

Hunny, how come you don’t trim your pussy fur anymore? I really liked how it looked – it was really hot!

Hey sweety, look at this picture I found online/in my e-mail from *crazy friend*. Yours looked like this when we first started dating – man that was so hot!” ( the “hint hint” approach)

Or you could groom yourself, she might notice the change and be inspired to follow your example, or she might ask you about it and then you can respond with “I was thinking about how much I liked it when you used to shave/wax and decided to do a little grooming myself for you.

You could even give her a gift certificate for a bikini (or Brazilian) wax as a gift.

It’s not wrong to ask your partner to try something different or to bring back an old favourite – but it wouldn’t be right to pressure her or make her feel guilty. Maybe she’s started taking you for granted and being reminded about how hot you think she looks a certain way might remind her of how hot you both are for each other.

Some people have equated pubic grooming (shaving, waxing, etc) to labial and other genital cosmetic surgery, but that’s like equating a new haircut with a face lift or nose job! It’s just hair, being two or three feet lower on your body shouldn’t make it taboo.

Another nice thing about it just being hair – it grows back. You can trim/wax/shave it any way you like and when it grows back you can try something different or let it go wild! (But if you are going to let it go wild, please keep in mind a lover who might want to go down on you without having to bring along a comb. ^_~)

, , , , , , , , ,


Comment from Momentarily_Distracted
Time May 16, 2006 at 2:54 am

I must admit, the way she trustingly gazes at him while he concentrates on making sure she doesn’t get cut is remarkable.
It’s almost like a story within itself.
Is trustingly a word?
I guess it is now. ;oD

Comment from DZER
Time May 16, 2006 at 8:49 am

hmmm … maybe a new line of cards from Hallmark.

I love you intensely, like a rubric
but please trim your hairs of pubic.


Just something I thought I’d share:

Please take a weedwacker to your pubic hair!


Comment from littleinsomniac
Time May 16, 2006 at 12:58 pm

I dated a guy who was happy with the way I looked, but always wanted me to try this out. Had he read this, it sure would’ve helped! Great advice, Shay. :)

Comment from Sabine
Time May 16, 2006 at 1:51 pm

A tricky one as it is such a personal choice thing, and when you meet a partner there can be an implied condition that you keep the same style- but really no choice is fur-ever. Maybe the person in question needs to have a bit of dialogue with his partner and find out if it is a conscious choice, or is having a break from the routine. She may have just let things go, temporarily or longer. Maybe she wants a different hairstyle- Is that so wrong, as long as is trimmed and sweet?

Comment from Shay
Time May 16, 2006 at 2:23 pm

M_D – I know! I loved this picture too and it’s so perfect for the topic ^_~ hehe We’ll add “trustingly” to the blogger dictionary under “M_D”.

Dzer – I’m telling you, you’re in the wrong industry! You’re a card writing genius!

LittleInso – Ah well I hope things worked out for you anyway. ^_^

Sabine – Very true, change is good. But it sounds like he is sad that she has stopped doing any grooming down there (it’s been a year, he says), so it’s not just a matter of her wearing a style he doesn’t like.

Comment from JUnderCovers
Time May 16, 2006 at 5:06 pm

Great advice as always, Shay, plus you used my favorite phrase–”pussy fur”!!

Comment from Shay
Time May 16, 2006 at 11:49 pm

hehe J I was thinking of you when I typed it. ^_~

Comment from Anonymous
Time May 17, 2006 at 3:34 am

In the end, it’s up to the person whose body the hair is on. It’s nice to do something your lover will like, but it would be the same way with hair on the head. If a girl really loved her long hair, she shouldn’t have to cut it off just because her boyfriend/girlfriend/alienfriend wants to see it short.

Comment from single gal
Time May 17, 2006 at 4:08 am

i have to agree that if the male component does it, it’s more encouraging and a little more equal.

Comment from Edinburgh Erotica
Time May 17, 2006 at 12:41 pm

My GF shaves the top of her pubic area but leaves a light covering around her lips. Personally, I’d prefer the opposite with a distinctive triangle or stip above the pussy and bare lips. Must actually tell her this :)



Comment from Edinburgh Erotica
Time May 17, 2006 at 12:43 pm

Oh, and if anyone knows a better way (than using a razor) to reomve hair from my balls and bum, please let me know.



Comment from Shay
Time May 17, 2006 at 2:09 pm

Anon – Yes, ultimately it is up to the owner of the body. But it’s just hair, it grows back, why not try something new?

SingleGal – especially if he wants you to wax.

EE – My old roommate used to do that too! She said it was because she was too scared to wax that close. You should as your gf why she does it. ^_^

Oh and check this out ->

Comment from Jim
Time May 17, 2006 at 5:44 pm

I have fallen into the other camp, actually: asking my gal who was completely or partially bare to let it grow, and she was all for it.

I like woman who actually look like women, and women have a bush. Now I’m not into the over the top look, but a nice triangle above the pussy is so hot.

Comment from Darkstarr
Time July 7, 2009 at 9:35 am

Here’s a thought–many people (myself included) find that shaving their “naughty bits” makes them more sensitive. (Not to mention that oral sex is a lot more fun when you don’t have to stop every few seconds to pull pubic hairs off your tongue!) So, you could suggest that he/she try it on the grounds that it might make sex feel even better, or (for guys) that you’d be more willing to go down on her if she shaves or trims (but let it be her choice if you’re going to do this route). And if s/he says no, well… that’s life.

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