For the Record Porn Does NOT = Reality
“I really like you’re blog and I’m a frequent reader. Well, to the point, I’m a virgin but I don’t want to be with a woman and finish before she has had her share of the fun. When masturbating, it seems that I last less then anything I’ve seen on the net, compared to them I think I preform poorly. I’ve read a bit about the subject of premature ejaculation, and the writers usually propose a series of exercises, I’ve tried them (no too systematically) but I don’t see them working. I want to last longer during sex, not to have to stop in the middle, witch is what I think you train for with an exercise like that. I know that foreplay is on my side here, but there’s always a limit and I also think that to have good “control” is a handy thing. No real question, just looking for your general advise”
Here is my answer to your sort-of question: STOP STRESSING!
Firstly, having sex isn’t quite like masturbating, you’re in a different mood/mode where it really is more about self gratification than when you have sex (I hope). So It can be very difficult to try to build up any endurance on your own or even to gauge how you’ll preform when you actually do have sex. You have no idea how your body may actually react the first time you do have sex, you may last 1 minute, you may last an hour. PLUS, your first few time may not be representative how how long you’ll normally last once you start having sex more often.
Secondly, porn performance is a really bad goal to aim for. Professional porn actors are freaks unusual: they can and do have sex for much longer than normal people usually do/want to, partly because they aren’t really always trying to get off, they are just working. Porn actors are hired specifically because they can last so long.
You also can never be sure what is real and what is movie magic. Sometimes the guy isn’t even fully hard for the first half of the film. Sometimes he blew his load early and they edited it out and took a ten minute break on set until he recovered - but to you it looks like he did last the whole however many hours. Never trust what you see in a porn as any representation of reality.
Thirdly, you never know how long is long enough, it will really depend on your partner. What’s the point of agonizing over trying to last 45 mins in bed, when all your partner wants is 15mins? Besides, if you do happen to fall short, you have two options: you can either try to stay hard and keep going, or you can take a break (and switch to oral or manual) until you’re ready to go again.