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Oral Gratification – A Do It Yourself Guide

I often get e-mails from guys wanting tips for leaning how to suck themselves off, but being able to do it really depends on three things: how long your cock is, how flexible you are, and how patient you can be.

First of all, how long you are is going to have an effect on how easy it is to get that cock into your mouth. It’s simple math, a guy with an 8 inch dick is going to reach his cock-head 2 inches sooner than a guy with 6 inches. This, of course, doesn’t mean that you should give up if you’ve got a little less length – it just means that you’re going to have to be a little more patient with your body and work a little harder.

Next, flexibility; the average North American is not terribly flexible, for some reason many of us spend way too much time sitting in front on computers or televisions and not enough time working out. And even when they do work out, many neglect stretching. Thank goodness for Yoga’s rise in popularity.

For years I have been encouraging my male friends to try yoga: it’s good for you and it can be a great way to meet women. But yoga brings another benefit that men can enjoy – it can help build the flexibility needed for giving yourself a bowjob!

But when you are trying to work on getting more flexible for autofellatio, don’t just look up yoga postures online and try to do it alone, you risk hurting yourself pretty bad – sign up for a yoga class so that you can have a professional teach you the positions.

What kinds of positions you ask? Well, there are a few that could work.

One is the frontbend, where you just lean over forwards and pop your cock into your mouth (if you’re lucky) – this is a remarkably hard position to use though, very few grown men can actually use this one.

The other most popular position (in fact, the one I would chose) is the “plow” position from yoga – this one uses gravity to help get you closer to your goal.

[Make sure that you remember the name of this position so that you can ask your yoga instructor to work on this one with you - that way you can avoid giving away your true intentions by saying something like "I wanna learn the one that lets you suck your own dick." ^_~ ]

This is a position that you can also work on a little by yourself with the help of a wall to help support your feet, but you’ll have to be extreemly careful not to hurt youself and to take things really really slow.

Which brings me to the next requirement: patience. Building your flexibility can take a long time, so don’t expect to be able to deep throat yourself after one yoga class. It’s super important to respect where your body is at and to not push yourself into any position where you feel pain. A serious back injury is not worth the fleeting pleasure of self gratification. Take things slow and let the anticipation build until you’re able to self-suck safely.

When you think you’ve reached the point where you’ve become flexible enough to suck your own cock, set aside some time to prep; take a hot bath to relax your muscles, do some warm up streches to prep your spine, get into a comfortable position, and have at it. See if you can discover any tips to pass on to your partner. ^_~

P.S. girls, if you’re flexible enough, you could try it too.

11 comments to Oral Gratification – A Do It Yourself Guide

  • Anonymous

    If I can learn this, I’m never leaving the house.

  • Anonymous

    I don’t think this is a good course of action, if the average man could suck himself off the human race would end.

  • Anonymous

    Autofellatio will never be better than sex with someone you want to have sex with. human race differs in thoughts too. some people dont like the idea of sucking their own cock.
    but as for me it is something i want to do.

  • Jim

    Hmmm . . . I already cook, clean, and help with the laundry. This seems to unfairly tip the marital balance of chores, if I have to do this now, too.


  • Gadfly

    OK, speaking as a hetero guy, that would ruin the whole “I feel so special” thing about a blowjob … not to mention all the weirdness of having a dick in your mouth LOL

    Plus, that can’t be good for your back *chuckle*

  • Shay

    Anon 1 & 2 – yeah yeah we've all heard these jokes about a millions times.

    Anon3 – That's right, you go for it if you want to try it. No harm in a little fun (so long as you go about it the right way).

    Jim – ooooo that's a bad attitude, sex, even oral sex, shouldn't be considered a chore! yikes

    Gad – Uh *blink* no, actually it's fine for your back, healthy even- so long as you have proper training. Also, is it really that much weirder? You already hold and stroke a dick in your hand.

  • Gadfly

    A: Show me a study. That just seems like an extreme bend for the intervertebral discs. I realize with training, some people can do it. Doesn’t mean it’s not an extreme sport *chuckle*

    B: My dick has been in my hand since I was a baby. It’s never been in my mouth LOL

  • Anonymous

    Gadfly- hah, extreme?..Okay maybe for some, but I’ve been able to do this for years. I actually found out that I could do it by accident. (So no training was necessary) I do it once or twice a year tops. Why don’t I do it more often? *Shrugs*

    Shay- You posted that comment on ErosBlog in 2006, any progress?

  • Anonymous

    Sadly I dont believe I’m flexible enuff to try this =\.

    But would be interesting to try none the less! Even though some people may think it strange, they should try to keep an open mind on things :)

    By the way Shay, the animated Gif(photo) of this segment seems familiar, like I’ve seen it before? Do you recall the title or where its from by chance? Thanks!

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