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Oral Advice

Hey Shay! I have a question about performing oral for my girlfriend. To be honest, I’m nervous about doing it. I know she wants me to, but I can’t bring myself to. I want to make her happy in any way possible, so could you give me some pointers on eating her out?

It’s natural to be nervous of the unknown – if you’ve never attempted to give oral sex before I can see how you might be worried about what it’s going to be like.

Having never preformed oral sex on a woman before myself, I’m in a weird position here for trying to give you advice, but I’ll do my best.

First of all, don’t be scared – vaginas are soft and squishy, they aren’t going to bite you. Also, don’t worry too much about how it’s going to taste, all girls taste different and a girl’s taste changes throughout the month – if you don’t like how she tastes one time, just focus on licking around her labia and clit and stay away from the vaginal opening until she gets wetter.

Second, technique is really easy, most of the things it would occur to you to try will probably feel good:  lick her like she’s an ice-cream cone, draw the alphabet with your tongue, flick your tongue over her clit once she’s warmed up, etc. Actually this reminds me, you should hit up her clit last, because it can be too sensitive – in a bad way-  if you pay it too much attention when she’s not turned on enough. (I’m sure my readers will be only too happy to offer you even more tips for technique too. ^_~)

And remember, oral sex isn’t a solo activity: you’re allowed to ask her what she likes. Check in with her every so often and ask if she likes what you’re doing, find out if she wants you to pay more attention to something or stay away from anything. There should be lots of communication between the two of you to guide your movements.

Everyone is different too, so what works with one partner might not work with another; and what one person likes might change a little depending on their mood – but with practice you two should definitely be able to develop some fool-proof techniques that work for your current partner nearly all of the time.

5 comments to Oral Advice

  • Joe Schmoe


    Wonderful advice. I’d like to add my thoughts (from a male perspective).

    1. Have fun and enjoy each other. This is the primary reason for having sex – especially oral sex.
    For some reason, giving each other orgasms seem to have been placed on some sort of pedestal, while I’m not trying to discount the amazing wonderful thing about the orgasm, I just think that it’s been soooo over-emphasized both by men and women that people nowadays are *only* caring about an orgasm when they *really* (imho at least) should be paying attention to each other.

    2. Explore and discover. Like Shay mentions above, every woman is different. Some women like clitoral stimulation on the left of her clit. Others like it on the right of the clit. Some others enjoy both penetration at the same time as clitoral stimulation. So on and so forth.

    So, what does this mean? Explore, d*mn it! Discover! Why is everyone in such a hurry anyway? Shouldn’t this experience enjoyed as long as possible?

    3. Listen and Observe. This holds true not only in oral sex, but overall in general. Hell, this will help in your overall relationship! Like point #2, you really need to listen and observe your lover during and after “the act.” See how she moves when you touch her along her labia? Does she squirm when you touch her clit? So on and so forth.

    This will not only make you a better lover, but a better man in general.

    4. Learn the art of the tease. Like Monty Python’s “Meaning of Life,” DON’T GO STRAIGHT FOR THE CLIT MAN! Make her wait. Make her want you even more. Make her beg for you to touch her.

    Again, why is everyone in such a hurry? So enjoy it.

    5. See point #1. Rinse and repeat.

  • Hardin Reddy

    A technique I use is to hold my tongue flat against her perineum and drag it slowly up and over her clit–after warming her up with some of the techniques Shay and Joe mentioned.

    Fucking her with your tongue, rolled up in a tube, once she is hot and wet is fun too.

  • Joe covered the most important things in his comment. Put special attention to the number 3. The secret is the feedback!

    I learn a lot thanks to Nina Hartley too.

    Here’s a link for a very explanatory and also very serious video

  • N-Pow

    Oral sex is kind of like pizza, in that when it’s not that great, it’s still pretty fucking good. Think about it, you’re using your mouth, which is soft, warm and moist. Chances are, whatever you do will feel pretty good. The rest is just playing around and seeing what specifically she responds to.

    The only caveat to that, I’d say, is if you have facial hair, don’t rub your face down there furiously. That gets annoying real fast ^_~

    Have fun!!

  • Love the art work on your site …
    manga art is so wonderful. I am in the process of l;ooking at different artists to illustrate some of my stories …

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