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“Hey shay, I first found your site about a year ago and have been a casual visitor ever since. I have thought about asking you for a few pointers, but I really didn’t have a question that couldn’t be answered by your more general suggestions until now. OK, this may seem strange, but I need some advice on finding a woman who is actually willing to commit to at least a somewhat serious relationship. Weirdly enough, most of my dorm has no problem with who they do, as long as they have the chance to actually /do/ somebody. Unfortunately, I’m not really game for the whole one-night-stand gig, and yet all the women I have met so far are at exactly that level. Do you have any tips on how I might figure out which girl is going to be able to look at me in the face tomorrow morning and seriously consider having breakfast with me?”
Hmm that’s an interesting predicament.
A lot of people do tend to go through a sort of “wild” phase at some point in their life, where they want to have fun and experience new things (i.e. party hard and have lots of sex). Of course there’s always a lot of variability, and not everyone is looking for a string of one night stands at the same time. It shouldn’t be too hard to find some women who are interested in an actual relationship.
Sometimes what can really have an effect on the tone of your encounters is the context and this might be what’s tripping you up. If you’re looking for your next potential girl friend in bars and clubs, you might not find the type of girl you want.
Look for girls in the areas you have an interest in: if you’re into fitness, try picking up some girls at the gym; if you’re into gaming, see if there is anyone cute in the gaming club (they DO exist!). Also, try talking to girls in your courses, the ones who are showing up to the same lecture as you already have at least two things in common with you! (i.e. they are taking that course AND actually showing up to lecture)
I know it can be rough, but consider not sleeping with girls on the 1st “date”; try to hold out a little longer so you two can actually get to know each other a little and start to form a relationship.
In conclusion: start picking up sober chicks instead of drunk ones; find girls with common interests; and make it known before you bed her that you’re interested in something more.
You might end up having less sex in the short-run, but hopefully a more fullfilling relationship in the long run. :)
I hope that helps!
