Zack (and chris) – unfortunately you can’t always make someone like stuff, just like you can’t help it if the person you’ve fallen in love with doesn’t like oral. Clearly it’s not a deal breaker for her, so maybe he’s making up for it in other ways – we don’t know.

Chris – Actually, I disagree. Masturbating to orgasm while someone watches is an entirely different experience and I don’t think I would necessarily consider it a step towards orgasming during sex. Masturbation is a more private way to get off and doing it in front of someone else can give people “stage fright” that might not be present when they’re having sex. On the other hand, some people really get off on being watched – so it really depends on the type of person she is.

WTF – I do the best I can with the information I’m given and hope that it helps someone some way. :)

Chris – like you said, we only have a little peek into the situation, we don’t know what really went down with the oral thing or with anything actually.

Sem – Yep. Though not always true with the freshly washed thing, sometimes that can make it worse and regular soap is not so good for the stuff down there.

I’ve had two lovers in my lifetime who had never had an orgasm previously, and with both the problem was solved with lots of patience and a little mechanical help (vibrator). Especially the vibrator.

Many women can’t come from intercourse alone. It’s perfectly normal to need a little helping hand while fucking.

P.S. Try trimming a little “down there” and making sure you’re freshly washed to entice him for oral sex.

You’re right- all we have is a little peek into the situation, but that peek tells us that the BF chooses not to accomodate a very reasonable request.

I’m just pointing out the possibility that he’s not the guy for her, at least sexually. Take it or leave it.

Cheers!

Of course, I can also pull some advice out of my ass: She might actually be a lesbian!

OK- I’ll shut up now :)

The only thing i would add to Shay’s great advice is also predicated on the writer being able to orgasm by masturbating herself: try masturbating to orgasm in the presence of your partner, while he worships your body from head to toe. Being able to cum with him near you may help you cum when he’s doing the stimulating.

If you can’t cum under those circumstances, then i think the issue might be around feeling comfortable in his presence. And given that he won’t go down on you even though you have asked him to, I wonder what other dynamics might be at play in the relationship? You say you’ve “Tried to tell him what [you] like,” which, unless i’m totally off the mark, sort of implies he hasn’t really listened that much?

It might be a hard question, but you’ve got to ask yourself if your pleasure seems all that important to him. If you think it might not be, it’s time to find a new partner!!

But I worry about this guy. He doesn’t like oral sex? I think if she dates someone else that likes oral sex she may fall in love again!

S1= Thankfully neither of us have an issue here, though if her stress level is really high I can see how it would interfere.

S2= I’d honestly love a little more foreplay. If the mood calls for instant sex, do that, but not all the time!

S3= This is something we’ve been working on recently. I’m slowly finding techniques to get her in the mood, and keep here there.

S4= We’ve bought a good rabbit and a Gigi. Helps immensely with step 3. I’ve also been considering a vibrating cock-ring, not for sustaining issues, just for her pleasure.

S5= I think sharing and discussing right after is a great way to improve a relationship.

Great post!