“Hi Shay, I just started reading your blog not too long ago and I have to say that it’s wonderful. I was hoping that you would be able to help me. Lately my boyfriend and I have experimenting (positions, toys etc). I’m fairly open minded so I’m willing to try pretty much anything he throws my way. His latest obsession is “squirting”. I’ve heard that any woman can learn to do it, and it’s not something you either can or can’t do. They say you’ll feel a pressure like you have to go pee, and instead of holding it back, relax and let it go. Well I feel that pressure and I try to relax, but it doesn’t work. We’ve tried so many times and I don’t know what else to do. Is there anything in particular that might help? Thanks, End of the Road“
You’re right, since all healthy women have a urethral sponge (and this is what is thought to be the area essential to female ejaculation), all women should technically be physically able to ejaculate. Unfortunately life isn’t always so simple. Actually, the more people study this area, the more it becomes unclear whether all women really are physically able to ejaculate at all, since not all women have the same amount of tissue in the area we call the “G Spot” and some are even beginning to question whether Skeene’s glands are indeed responsible for producing the ejaculate or at least how they relate to stimulation of the urethral sponge if at all (esp since not all women seem to need G Spot stimulation to ejaculate).
But, since it sounds like you do experience G Spot stimulation, let’s just run with the idea that you do have enough tissue there to provide the right kind of stimulation for female ejaculation to be physically possible for you.
My advice to you is: don’t stress. It could just be that you’re just not ready for it. One thing you could try is playing in the shower – when I first discovered that I could squirt, it was in the shower because that was the only place I felt free to relax, since I knew the fluid would be washed away (I was paranoid that it was going to be pee, despite what I’d read).
Remember that with something like this, it’s often the case that the harder you try, the less likely it is to happen. Scientists still don’t seem to really understand female ejaculation yet, so I’m afraid that that’s the best advice I can give you.
Try moving on to some new experiment for now and maybe you’ll discover that you can squirt later – when you both aren’t so focussed on making it happen.
I hope that helps!
I do have more info on ejaculation (including female ejaculation) HERE.
Me and a former g/f discovered she could squirt exactly how Shay describes; we tried a lot of different times and nothing, than finally when we were actually having sex to have sex (and not to experiment with her body) it worked. I’ve always noticed that the more relaxed the woman is; the more emotionally invested in the sex, the better it is for all involved.
Damn it, Shay
You knew “urethral sponge” was going to snag my interest, because it was not in the nomenclature when I studied.
I know you. I know this term didn’t come from astrologers and crystal healers …
Yet no researched link.
*pout*
Anon – yes! Confirmation that I do have one or two good ideas ^_~ That’s great to hear.
Gad – I figured curious people would know how to work the google. ^_~ haha
“go google”
nice informative blog
*ducking behind heavy furniture*
Please don’t kill me
;-)
Here’s a suggestion – push. That’s how I was able to start squirting. If you take a good look at some of the more informative videos, you will see that the ladies are “bearing down” and pushing out.
You will also find that if you are covering/blocking the urethra, it won’t happen. I fight with my Hitachi for this very reason – it feels great and gets me there, but it also gets in the way!
Try this:
Have your boyfriend place one hand on your lower abdomen, right where your uterus is, applying gentle pressure. Then he should place 2 fingers, slightly hooked, into your vagina. Depends on what does it for you, he can wrap his thumb on your pelvic bone and “bounce” your pelvis up and down OR use those fingers to do the “come hither” motion repeatedly. You’ll feel it build up until you fell as though you will pee right then and there. It’s hard to do at first (or it was for me, with my natural orgasms being “suckers”) but with relaxed practice, you should be able to do it.
Make it fun but don’t put pressure on yourself. Once you learn how you will probably find that you want to do it again and again. :D
Hope that helps!
I was going to suggest the same thing as lustus.mihi. I have found putting down a towel and making sure I got to the bathroom beforehand helps me relax. I would definitely suggest trying it with some masturbation, or with your boyfriend masturbating you instead of just during sex to start (haven’t experienced it that way yet though).
Only one time have I ever actually peed a little while doing it, and while I was a little grossed out afterwards it wasn’t on my bed, but on a couple of folded up towels, which was helpful to my peace of mind. I also have an easier time ejaculating with just clitoral stimulation, because it is harder for me to relax with G-spot stimulation.
Just some suggestions. Squirting is so much fun! Good luck!