I had a funny experience recently.
I’m traveling west to visit my family soon and I was on the phone with my mom while she tried to change my ticket so I could come a few days early.
The change ended up seating me with a 5 hour delay in an airport, “but,” the customer-service lady assured my mom, “I can recommend a good book for your daughter. All the ladies in my office are reading it, it’s a romantic book.”
When my mom relayed this information to me, I assured her that I was not interested, but that I’d find something to occupy myself during the stop-over. I am always wary of strangers’ book suggestions, and besides, I had a pretty good idea of what the suggestion was. Still, my mom insisted on taking down the name of the book for me.
So, an hour later I check my email and find a note from my mom with my travel information and, at the bottom, the book suggestion: “Fifty Shades of Gray” with the word “Romantic” typed underneath.
My mom is wonderful, but a bit of a prude, so it was extra funny to me that she was trying to convince me to read this book – though she had no idea that it’s a poorly written book about kinky sex.
However, I have to admit that I cannot actually critique Fifty Shades of Gray – because I refuse to read it.
As I’ve said before, I’m VERY picky about the erotica to which I will subject myself and I just have not heard anything compelling enough about this book.
I’m happy that so many people are finding this outlet for getting themselves off AND I’m really happy that it’s become somewhat mainstream (though still in a weird way) and okay for people to buy an erotic book in regular bookstores and then read it anywhere they please (like on public transit!). But I still won’t read it myself.
What are your thoughts on this book or on the Fifty Shades phenomenon?
(BTW, there is a very funny review HERE)
I’ve read several reviews of it, and a consistent complaint I keep hearing is how Mr. Grey (apt name, considering the vast assortment of snippets I’ve seen regarding the depth of characterization) ignores the basic tenants of Safe, Sane, and Consensual. He has her provide a safeword, then proceeds to ignore it when she uses it (there goes consent.) He wants all of his sextoys to look like his mother (strongly questioning the sanity.) There are several passages that I’ve seen quoted regarding him beating her to a degree that would not be considered safe. SS&C is one of the most important aspects of BDSM, without it you have nothing more than an abusive relationship. He also wants to exercise control over aspects of her life outside of the confines of their alleged BDSM relationship. The “reason” for his BDSM proclivities is that he was molested by an older woman when he was 15.
And icing on the cake: author apparently stated in an interview that they know ONE person that is into BDSM, and that they feel that person is kinda weird, so all BDSM practitioners must have psychological issues. (I found that tidbit in the comments on the review you posted.)
As a responsible male switch, I find the alleged kinky relationship that is consistently represented by the quotes from and reviews of this book offensive and demeaning. For a better presentation of BDSM, wrapped up in a political plotline reminiscent of Dune, I recommend Jacqueline Carey’s Kushiel’s Legacy series.
I’m surprised the woman from the airline would go out on a limb and recommend a book like that to a stranger as she could have gotten herself into some hot water if you’d been some uptight ultra conservative type. On the one hand it’s great that people can feel free enough to recommend a “racy” book like that, but it’s also in bad judgement and taste to do so in a business situation. Interestingly, if a man had done the same it could be considered sexual harassment. I’ve never read that book and have no plans to either, somehow the whole buzz about it turns me off, plus I have plenty of other erotica to titillate my brain. LOL, it’s also unsexy to have your Mom suggesting what smut to read. ;^)
I got about halfway through the first book, and it’s the first one I’ve had to consciously reject the possibility of finishing. I NEED to know how stories end, but if Anastasia bit her stupid lip one more time I was going to throw a borrowed book of my 10th floor balcony.
I can say that I was a little nonplussed by the “childhood abuse” angle in the book. I was expecting something unspeakable. He had a D/s relationship at 15 with his mom’s friend. I agree that such a relationship is definitely not something to go into carelessly and that the age difference made things sound questionable; but I got to halfway through the book and they never addressed whether HE felt that he had been done wrong by, or even what the relationship was like.
I should mention, not too long ago the age of consent here in Canada was 14, so that’s played a major role in my evaluation.
Oh, and it made me quite livid when Ana called Christian a monster based solely on his interests. This was before he apparently steamrolled her safeword and got unquestionably creepy.
As someone who enjoys pain, I find it neither attractive nor amusing for someone with complementary interests to be called nasty names.
Thank you so much for your comments thus far everyone! I really really appreciate having members who do enjoy healthy BDSM types of play giving feedback on this strangely wide-spread book phenomenon!
I started to read it at my fiancee’s insistence, stating that it is the worst book she’s ever read.
I would have to agree – I couldn’t get past the 2nd chapter of the first book.
How she’s gotten into the third book, I don’t know – but she did tell me the why: because she’d invested so much time into it she’d rather finish it than say she couldn’t.
Honestly? It reads like a shitty version of Twilight with sex scenes.
I’ve read the first one. Finished it. I’ve read worse. It didn’t get me horny enough to rub one out or anything, just interesting. I’ve purchased the second book.