“I’ve been reading your blog for a while now and really enjoy it. So I have a question for you. How can we (my fiance and I) know if she is able to have an orgasm through intercourse?She generally orgasms easily through oral sex. I’m aware that most women need some clitoral stimulation in order to reach orgasm and that intercourse is not the best way to achieve that. I’m happy to throw a toy into the mix or add some manual clitoral stimulation so she can get off during penetration, but she isn’t really interested in either of those options. She has recently expressed some disappointment in the fact that she does not reach orgasm regularly during intercourse. And she never has, with me or anyone else. She says that sometimes she feels like it might happen and then it doesn’t. So my main concern is making sure that she is happy and satisfied, but I am now worried that she is preoccupied with orgasming during intercourse and that is going to get in the way or her and our enjoyment of sex. Basically, I want to know how we can tell if it’s even possible for her to orgasm from intercourse/have a g-spot orgasm (previous times may have been from clitoral stimulation) so we can incorporate that into our sex life or it it’s not then so we can move on with other fun stuff. I hope all of this makes sense. “
So, from the get-go, my overarching advice is for you both to chill (especially you – it sounds like you may be putting a lot of pressure on this orgasm thing). If the sex feels good and is fun, regardless of whether or not she orgasms, then why worry about it? Yes, orgasms feel pretty awesome, but if worrying about being able to have one is getting her (or you both) down, then I say: forget about it. Focus on having fun and enjoying yourselves, and if she happens to have a orgasm: awesome. If not, at least it was still a fun time, and maybe it’ll happen for her next time.
As for whether or not your gf is able to have G-spot orgasms, that will depend on a few things – like, whether or not she even has a g-spot!! (See HERE.)
You two can explore her body to find out whether or not she has a G-spot after you’ve gotten her good and riled up (you could try some oral, dirty talking, etc, whatever gets her going). Slide your finger inside her while she’s laying on her back and rub the pad of your finger along the top inside wall of her vagina – if you feel a spongy nub, that’s probably her g-spot. However, just because you were able to find it, doesn’t mean rubbing it will make her orgasm, or that it will even feel good. Some women find g-spot stimulation annoying or uncomfortable.
BUT, if you want to take a crack at it, positions where you are behind her (doggy style or even if you just bend her over the couch) are a great way to stimulate the g-spot (if it’s there) while you have sex.