You see these two words flashed around when people start talking about sex and don’t want to use some of the more formal or more graphic terms out there. Sometimes they are used interchangeably and sometimes they are assigned specific meanings.
In my own writing, I never really liked to use the term “come” because… well, because it’s also a “regular” word, and it feels weird to me using it as a “sex word”. So I just use “cum”.
But I notice that some writers use these words more specifically, they’ll have “cum” mean ejaculate and “come” mean orgasm.
So, does this mean that only men can cum? Do they cum and come at the same time? Or does cum encompass come? What about women who can ejaculate – should we talk about them cumming too or do they still only come?
I know it’s just semantics, but what do you guys think? Which do you prefer? Especially the erotica writers in the audience, what do you use?
I prefer to use the word ‘come’, as ‘cum’ tend to pull me out of the right head-space. It’s the anal linguist (so to speak) in me coming out – I just don’t see ‘cum’ as a real word, and it bugs me :)
Not that it stops me reading a certain blogger – it’ll take much more than just one word.
xx Dee
Since I remember when “cum” was coined — in the same hippie-dippie era as words like “luv” and re-spelling names that end in “y” to end in “i” it always smacks of a kind of adolescent deprecation of something that people were sort of embarrassed to talk about. (Hmm… I think it also worked in 70′s era “underground” comics because as a euphemism for “come” it could slip under the adult-ratings radar. I do remember that real, restricted-to-adults porn never used it.)
Maybe years of use in hard-core porn has given it a less juvenile sensibility, especially to folks who don’t remember it being any other way, but… I think the spelling is still way too cutesy.
You see the term “girl cum” for visible lubrication sometimes, but since lubrication starts for women around the same time erections start in men it’s a *real* misnomer to call it that.
All my opinion, of course, but what else can any of us offer for ways to spell something that a) has the same pronunciation and b) means the same thing. (Hmm again. Seems like if “come” is the original word and “cum” is the cutsey, 70′s-era diminutive then…)
Cool question, Shay
figleaf
I use “cum” in all instances. If I want to reference both orgasm and ejaculate in one statement … well … that’s why we have other words.
The thing that bothers me is that there should be a separate new spelling for the past tense of “cum”. For the same reason you mentioned. “Came” is a regular word. But you can’t spell it “cam” becuz that already means something else.
We should have a contest to come up with a new spelling for “came.”
^__^
kame?
ceim??
Anyway, as figleaf alluded to they’ve always been different words for me. I tend to tell the difference by intonation.
In writing however when come is used instead of cum it somehow just blows a story’s continuity.
I always assumed “cum” was a noun and “come” was a verb.
As in, “I came so hard, I shot cum by the bucket.”
I feel pretty much the same way regarding “come” feeling too much like a normal word. However, the past tense of “come” or “cum,” when used to refer to orgasm, is still “came”. So, it would seem that the normal word may be the correct spelling, if something as formal as a correct spelling for it exists…
I use “cum” as a noun and “come” as a verb.
sss
Ok now, this seems like a subject for a disertation.
On a strictly personal level, I’ve kind of adopted the use of “come” as opposed to “cum” (and I say kind of because of my inconsistency due to, well, alzheimers?). Mostly because I associate “cum” to bad porn. It may also be associated with good porn and erotica, but in my mind, all I hear is “…oh, oh, cum for me baby…”.
You get my meaning.
Eve
you know for me it depends on the story… if i’m writing pretty and romantic smut then it’s come and came but if i’m writing raunch with cocks and cunts they’ll cum…
so that’s even less logical innit?
Cum encompasses it all semen and orgasm.
The people who piss me off are those who use cum rather than come … in business letters. We have one dumbass at work, maybe in his 40ies … who uses cum all the time and through conversations, has absolutely no idea what cum refers to.
I also like the more smutty low down ‘sex word’ connotation of ‘cum’ rather than the ‘regular’ word of ‘come’. But who am I to judge, I have often been picked on for using the very uncool expression of ‘ blow’ or blowing/ blow jobs’! Not sure if it is an Antipodean term predominantly, or just showing me breeding!
Although I can be a stickler for grammar, I also love bad (deliberatly so) punctuation and maverick spelling in creative forums.
I personally use cum as opposed to the “regular” word come, but in my travels I’ve come across a writer who went so far as to use the word “brought” to describe a man making her cum/come.
As in, “He brought me three times in 5 minutes.”
Haven’t seen it since, but I thought it was fairly strange.
I hate the word “cum”. It just looks lazy. It saves only one letter, and it makes me think of AOL chatrooms. Also, I took Latin in high school, so the first thing I think when I read the word has nothing to do with sex. And how do you make “cum” past-tense? “Cummed”?
I read more than my share of erotica, and I greatly prefer “come”, or even the more mundane “orgasm”/”ejaculate”.
i’m with kxo…”cum” is too much a lazy highschooler who can’t spell for me.
As with the last reply, I too agree with kxo. In my writing, I always use ‘come’ as opposed to ‘cum’- regardless of whether noun or verb. Or, better yet, I use more imaginative or expressive words if the work is written in a more artistic/romanticized style. This is personal preference, of course, but I can’t see ‘cum’ as related to sex in any way, mainly because of the original Latin usage.
This doesn’t stop me from enjoying other writers’ work (there have been quite a few pieces of erotica that made use of the word that were otherwise beautifully written) as long as ‘cum’ isn’t sprinkled across the page like confetti. For me,though, it’s just a little too puerile to use in literature that relates to sex.
For clarity’s sake, I will use the following definitions for the duration of this post: “to cum” means to ejaculate (either semen for men or fluid for women), and “to come” means to experience involuntary rhythmic contractions (i.e. orgasm).
Here’s my take on Shay’s questions…
“So, does this mean that only men can cum?” – I would say no, since both men and women can ejaculate fluids.
“Do [men] cum and come at the same time?” – My response to this question would have to be “almost all of the time” since most situations end with the man orgasming and ejaculating simultaneously. However, using careful “on the brink” masturbation techniques, one can fully ejaculate (cum) without having an orgasm (come). I know this because I have done it myself on a number of occasions. It is fairly challenging to achieve, but the feeling of ejaculating without orgasming is unlike any other sensation, and the sexual urge pleasantly remains… It’s the closest thing a man will ever get to experiencing the feminine “multiple orgasms”.
“What about women who can ejaculate – should we talk about them cumming too or do they still only come?” – I am unsure if women can ejaculate (cum) and experience involuntary uterus contractions (come) independent of one another. If so, then my answer is the same as I described above for men. If not, then women are unique, and “to cum” equals “to come” for them. Are there any women who can comment on this?
“Which do you prefer?” – In regards to use of the word in erotic writings, “cum” definitely sounds a bit vulgar (less romantic/sensual) and “come” is just too common of a word to effectively represent such a pleasurable sensation. I prefer the terms orgasm or ejaculation myself, but I guess it depends on one’s writing style, the type of story being written, and the specific situation.