[originally printed in the paper I write for - with some adaptations.]
Once again it is May, a time when students’ thoughts turn to work terms, iced coffee drinks, the start of summer classes, and creative ways to get off using a watermelon – that’s right folks, as you know, May is International Masturbation Month.
I’ve told you all about how good masturbation is for you; it can help prevent prostate cancer, it can improve your muscle tone, it can enhance your self esteem, boost your immune system, and relieve menstrual cramps. We’ve also talked about how you can make your own sex toys out of household items.
Knowing that masturbation is good for you is one thing, but figuring out how to do it when you are living in close quarters with someone else can be something else entirely.
Many of my readers are 25 and under, and as young people, with certain needs and urges, living in residence or sharing apartments without a lot of privacy can wreak havoc on our personal self-love routines. It’s hard to get into your favourite porn when your roommate(s) could burst in on you at any moment, and not everyone feels comfortable quietly masturbating in bed, 5 feet away from their supposedly sleeping roommate.
Probably the most popular time for people to masturbate is just before bed, it’s a good way to relax, unwind, and finish off the day on a high note. Thus, many masturbators will try to wait until their roommate is making sleeping noises before trying to take care of business.
Still, if you want to use toys or look at porn while you do it, stealthy bedtime palm piloting won’t always cut it.
Many students do opt to reserve their solo play time for when their roommate(s) is off at class or work, when they have the place to themselves and can feel free to watch porn, get out their toy collection, and make as much noise as they like. But not everyone has schedules that allow for this and even those that do may sometimes worry about their roommate(s) not sticking to their schedule and arriving home unexpectedly.
It’s interesting that most people would rather be caught having sex than be caught masturbating. We just can’t seem to shake the feeling that there’s something more embarrassing about self-pleasure, it’s more personal, more intimate, and perhaps something that some people are ashamed of doing.
Roommates are often quick to set up contingency plans in case one of them brings a partner back to the room/apartment for sex – everyone recognises that a sock on the doorknob means “go away, I’m getting laid”, but what should we put up if we’re masturbating?
In a perfect world, we would feel perfectly comfortable writing “I’m masturbating, please come back at 3:30” on our doors. And maybe some of you do have roommates who you would feel comfortable leaving such a note for; in my first year, I knew a boy who would actually say to his roommate, “get out, I need to jerk off” – no lack of communication there.
Unfortunately not everyone feels comfortable discussing their masturbation needs with a roommate; instead we have to rely on polite understanding. When we happen to hear the tell-tale sounds of masturbating coming from the bed/room next to us, we don’t let our roommates know that we are on to them; just like it is generally considered good form to knock before entering a closed room and to cough loudly and/or jingle your keys when arriving home – giving your roommate time to clean up before you burst in.
In close living arrangement, sometimes the only time we do get the privacy we need is in the bathroom, especially in the shower. You’re naked, you’re wet, the rushing water makes enough noise to drown out any sounds you might make, and especially for guys, the flowing water and drain makes clean-up a snap. You can sit down if you need to or stand up if you can; you can use your hand(s) or bring in a waterproof toy – most importantly you can explore all you want/need without your roommate(s) catching on.
[An important tip: use conditioner instead of soap as your solo shower lube; soap isn’t supposed to go inside a vagina and it can really sting if it gets inside a penis.]
However you manage it, I hope that you and your roommate(s) will both have the opportunity to celebrate Masturbation Month as often as you can.
Good tip on the soap causing stinging for guys.
I was really worried for a while why it sometimes burned when I pee’d, took me a while to figure out it was the soap. It doesn’t burn at first – only after a while when the residual soap and cum mix. Soap and cum actually form a rubbery substance.
Also conditioner can dry out the skin and cause it to look really messed up. That also had me worried one time. =P
I find my favorite lube is a nice consistency oil. Canola oil is a good example of the right consistency.
It took the entire school year but now my roomate and I have worked out the masturbation issue. We both were willing to admit that we did “IT” (of course we had heard each other at times so it was no secret) so we had no reason to hide it. We just agreed that when we masturbate in bed we will do it under the covers with the lights out. I am not into girls at all but we have both admitted that sometimes it is a turnon to hear the other moan to orgasm. Ocassionally I have got horny hearing my roomate and starting masturbating right along with her :) That was HOT!!
Yes the dangers of soap is something that I think most teenage boys learn pretty early on. It’s like having a white-hot wire inserted in the end of your cock.
I think masturbation carries the stigma it still does because in the eyes of religions, the Christian church for example, it is sex without a partner and sex without the aim of procreation. Or is it just too much fun?
I went to boarding school, and had a roomate most of the time I was there. At the time we were to shy to talk about it, but a couple of years after we graduated we ended up having a conversataion about our masturbation habits at school.
One night I heard my good friend thrashing around across the room and asked her what she was doing.
“Nothing” came the insistent reply. I asked her about it long after and with an embarassed giggle she admitted she was masturbating.
My roommates claimed they never heard me at it, which is amusing since I didn’t think I was particularly quiet about it.
As an aside, I would say my greatest feat of stealth masturbation was in a steam room at a public pool, LOL. Sometimes I amaze even myself.
Shower seems to be the best stealthy place. As you point out the soap/conditioner and the water and the noise make for a good spot. Until your kid walks in on you…..
Even middle-aged parents need privacy to wank ya know!
I wanna live in Shay World!! :)
there’s something about the fear of getting caught that actually makes masturbating more fun…
just like doing it in front of your partner makes it hotter…
but still and all, i pick living alone *g*
I disagree somewhat to what is going on here. I was in school way too long ago. I was the open minded person I am now and so was my roommate. We had a talk about this at the beginning of the year and agreed that we really didn’t have to hide things from each other … we did it openly (not necessarily in the other’s face so to speak) and never had a problem. We helped each other out a few times but our main interest was girls. You quickly get used to being open and carefree.
hc – really conditioner dries out the skin? hmm that surprises me.
Cheryl – hehe cool, it’s awesome that you two were able to do that, I know the roommates I had wouldn’t have thought it was cool at all.
Alex – yeah I have a post about that somewhere around here…
Shasta – wow! a steam room! I AM impressed!
Chex – Oh no!! haha
Art – spaces are limited! Get your passes now! ^_~
BIG – haha I guess it depends on who you are getting caught by, I can think of a lot of people by whom it would not be sexy AT ALL to be caught masturbating.
George – it’s great that things worked out so well for you. Like I said above, the average person is not as open and carefree as that. You should consider yourself lucky. ^_^
Bob Said:
My wife has it so easy all she has to do is cross her legs, squeeze real hard and concentrate and she can masturbate. How is this possible? She will no touch herself to masturbate because of how she was raised and she doesn’t even like the thought of masturbating at all. The orgasms she has when she does this are really intense. The closest we have come to them during intercourse is me stimulating the g-spot area with my finger. She alomst alays has an orgasm but many are not that strong. Sorry for the long post but I have not found anything like what she can do. She can do it at work behind her desk when noone’s in her office. It’s amazing and I’m quite jealous. By the way conditioner works great and does not dry the skin.
Frequent use of conditioner did dry my skin out, maybe it has to do with the type you use.
and yet still the titillation of potentially getting caught makes it hotter
even if the idea of getting caught by THEM is awful…
The comment on using conditioner was something I didn’t know. Thanks!
Never had a (male) roommate so that was never a problem. The biggest problem for me was when I was in the Army, especially during Basic Training when places for privacy don’t exist! Sleeping in barracks and not even stalls in the latrine (toilet area)…bummer for this horny 18 year old guy who had been used to jacking off at least once daily since before puberty. Where there is a will there is a way though…
I found out about using soap as a lube as a teenager too…OUCH!
Happy Masturbation Month to all!
Mike
(over 50 years of masturbating experience…and it’s truly one of the joys of life!)
I’m over 60 and think masturbating is fun! Alone or with someone!
I recall masturbating in junior high math class. I would get a woody (the teacher was an aid in this) and rubbing my cock through my jeans against the metal section of the desk below the top; this was where our books went. I would flex my butt cheeks and get off in class. No one ever said a thing and about the skinny perv in the back row. The teach did call on me once just as I was climaxing and was seemed surprised I could answer coherently.
In the Army, no one ever said a thing about my whacking off in the bunk but I was could make a mess on my sheets pretty quietly. But it was a lot more fun to go off in the woods, get nekkid, and have some fun!
Where do you keep getting those Peach pictures? id really kike it if you can tell me…
Yeah I found out soup hurt, peeing afterward become nearly impossible. Unfortunately I had to pee so bad I just sucked it up lol.
I think I collapsed afterward lol, painful.Oh! another reason why not to use it is because it can give you a urinary tract infection, or at least for me. Wasn’t easy explaining that one to the doctor lol.
Didn’t know about the soap. I’ve used soap many times, didn’t have any problem with the soap going in. Maybe it’s becos of the way i do it. or maybe it’s the soap?!?
The only way that soap would hurt me is if i had an “extended session” and I squeezed too hard, rubbing against my glans until some skin sloughed off (just the thin upper layer). Then when I showered off the soap, maaannnnn, THAT stung!