[In case you're confused, I'm talking about THIS ]
It’s not about her seeming to be comfortable enough with her body (and sexuality) to share it with her neighbors.
It’s not about her seeming to be so full of sexual energy that she just had to strip down for a room full of frosh boys.
It’s not whether she may or may not have emotional issues or if she may or may not be a slut (keep in mind, the pictures show no sex).
And it isn’t about whether or not she’s a straight A student and a nice person (tho I hear she is).
It’s about two things:
1. She engaged in semi-risky behaviour (which really isn’t the main issue, but this whole little strip tease could have ended in a less than consensual gang-bang if those boys had been more aggressive.)
2. She got caught on camera.
Many (perhaps most) people have engaged in a little risky behaviour (or they will) in their younger days. I’m sure many of you, my sweet readers, still cringe remembering some of your escapades (or at least you would if you could remember some of them ^_~).
Even I have a few frosh memories that I cringe when I remember them (- luckily very few people were with me at those times and I don’t even see them anymore).
However, the difference between me and the Saugeen Stripper’s is that SHE GOT CAUGHT ON CAMERA AND SHARED WITH THE WORLD (seemingly without her knowledge – the sharing part, not the the camera part)!
The boys who took her photo and e-mailed them to all their friends violated the code – dirty stuff that happens in rez, stays in rez.
No one should have their trashy froshy fun publicized like this and it’s too bad that the news media for picked up the story and ran with it.
Have we learned nothing from the “Girls Gone Wild” lawsuits? Drunken clothing removal is not meant for film because it can ruin your future career!
I just hope little SS isn’t a poli sci, business, or law major at the University of Western Ontario – because this little photo shoot could come back and ruin her later.
In conclusion:
Girls we want you to feel good about your bodies and be comfortable with your sexuality. Go ahead and take your clothes off, “slut it up” and have a great time while you can ^_^ (just be SAFE and use condoms and stay out of dangerous situations) but please, please, PLEASE remember to say “SORRY, NO CAMERAS!” The internet population can get their free porn elsewhere.
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Or an education major…
oh well… at least she had fun…
You’ve just caused me to think a bit differently about this subject. At first I didn’t see what the big deal was – these guys were going to hire a stripper and discovered one lived in their building. What’s the problem?
Your point about privacy is what changed my mind. While she obviously didn’t care that these guys were taking photos, there’s no way she believed they were going to be spread outside of that room (or a few friends). These haven’t just circulated around her campus; they are now on almost every website around the world. She didn’t sign up for that; in fact they’re probably technically illegal under the new U.S. laws that require a 2257 form. (I’m no lawyer, though, so the fact that is originated in Canada probably protects everybody.)
Thank you, Shay, for providing this different point of view.
When I went to NYU (New York University) a few girls worked as strippers in Manhattan. NYU is a top school so many of girls were going to be in the business world or some other “respected” profession. They just needed the cash to pay the huge school tuition. So obviously this type of stuff is nothing new, even though the media usually makes it seem like the end of the world.
I remember one time going to one of these strip clubs and seeing a classmate. She was super cool about it, but she was clear that she wanted me to stay hushed about it on campus. Of course I did.
Something has been said about being sensitive to other people’s privacy. Like I said before the real bad move this girl made is allowing pictures to be taken. You do bring up a good point about unwanted sexual activity.
I posted too early… I agree with Scott… he said it better than I did.
I agree Shay. Saftey first. No cameras second. It might have been fun at the time, but it’s now blown up to the place where it can be really damaging to her carear and relationships, past, present and future.
Can you imagine your dad stumbling across photos of you like this? Ack.
Oh, and Shay? I want to vote in your new poll. But I can’t remember how I found you. I might have found you through somebody else’s blog, but I think you first found me. I always go to the blogs of people that comment on my site, so that must have been it.
Anyway, you were among the first sexbloggers I regularly visit, so I can’t remember back that far.
What irks me is that, since getting rid of OAC, this girl, most likely being a first year student could be 17! I went searching online for more info about this incident (and found more pictures from the “event”) and supposedly she okayed the cameras and didn’t even end up getting the money afterwards.
*sigh*
Scott and Frodo – thanks for the input guys, and I’m glad that I was able to put a new spin on this whole thing for you. ^_^ (thanks for making me feel like I’m not just talking to air)
BedRDancer – OMG I don’t even want my dad reading my blog let alone seeing pictures like that of me! Haha maybe I should make a “safety first no cameras second” button for our blogs!
And, I think I did find you first! In any case, I’m so glad we found each other! ^_^
Jen – Don’t worry. I’ve heard from people who actually know her and she is 19. As for payment, I have heard two versions, one that she got paid $50 and one that she did it for free. I kinda hope she did it for free, because $50 seems too cheap.
“dirty stuff that happens in rez, stays in rez.”
Pretty much summed that issue up in terms of privacy. I mean unless somehow this thing w/o cameras forced itself out of the res halls, then a lil respect is in call for the person doing the work. At least thats what I’d like to think. I also remember some embarassing things that happend to some people in my res… especially private stuff from people’s personal lives. And even though you are only like a wall away or something, you don’t need to let everyone in the building know about it unless it affects them in some way or another.
And its true that it doesn’t matter if she was a straight A student, a morally correct person who just happend to try experimenting… or anything before or after the fact. Privacy was the bigger issue.
I agree with you in that I hope none of this girls hi-jinx hurt her later in life. Hopefully she will be able to learn from this and guard her privacy a bit better in the future. I wonder if she will choose any legal recourse from being filmed without consent.
waha – exactly.
Fuzz – I don’t think there’s going to be any legal recourse, She allowed the photos to be taken and smiled for the camera in a number of the photos.
You need to wear a condom just to take off your clothes now? Wow, the world has become a much more dangerous place since I was in sex education.
Love that pic….and yeah, I think my frosh, soph and the rest of my college days were full of happenings that I don’t remember too well… :-)
phronk – the world is and always has been a dangerous place. But that doesn’t mean people can’t have fun, I just want people to be safe. And my comdom comment was meant to apply generally to my go ahead to “slutting it up”, which may or may not involve sex. And phronk, if I were going to take my clothes off around you, I’d make you wear the condom as a precaution – I don’t want you spooge getting on me! ^_~
Pantylines – lol somehow that doesn’t surpise me ^_~
Point taken, and I agree. It’s just that stripping doesn’t necessarily lead to sex…in this case it appeared to be just harmless nudity.
Your naked self can cause men to spooge instantly? Impressive! :)
Now you tell me!
After going to Fantasy Fest and having my picture taken about 2000 times you let me know that it was a big mistake. All I can say is” O SHIT”.
Amen! Playing’s encouraged, but you’ve got to realize the possible risks. :)
I don’t know, Shay, I’m going to have to disagree with you on this one.
It seems to me that you are kind of lining up to blame the girl here. She went in trusting these guys whom she knew not to be total asshats and she got a bunch of guys–or one at least–who were total asshats (though not, as you point out, rapists).
Should she have trusted them? Clearly she was experiencing bad judgement in the moment, but had no photo been taken, had no photo been distributed, had no news media jumped on the hot stripper bandwagon, no one would be castigating her for her lapse in trusting a roomful of college boys.
I expect that as a professional stripper, she thought the guys she was stripping for would act maturely. She was wrong.
What troubles me most about this post and the one that preceded it is that I expect a sex-positive blogger such as yourself to step away from blaming this woman. Your choice to compare your behavior with hers pretty much shames her, and your words hold implicit within them the message that had she gotten raped, it would have been her fault.
And I have to wonder this: if you have a problem with the pictures, why would you choose to replicate them not once, but twice?
It’s as if your blog is complicit with the choices those boys made, and with their decision to put their pleasure over this woman’s personal privacy.
Does she lose her right to privacy because she took her clothes off? Should she be judged for “slutting it up” because she stripped?
I’m thinking, not so much. Not on my blog, anyway.
Chelsea – I’m really sorry that I seemed to come off like that to you. I didn’t mean to seem like I was blaming the woman for her behaviour. I was not castigating her for stripping for these boys, but for allowing photos to be taken.
I am dissapointed in the boys for having posted the pictures online and e-mailing them to all their friends, as I said, they violated “the code”.
But perhaps my post was more geared at the female side of the participating because I am a woman and wasn’t sure how it would come off if my post had been an angry rant against boys.
Part of the point of my post was that, if I can’t control what is going to be done with photos taken of me, at least I can control whether or not the photos are taken. And attempt to encourage other women to taken control where they can when they are having fun.
And I am very sorry that my post offends you.
Shay,
You didn’t offend me. I just felt moved to point out some inconsistencies, and I hope that you didn’t take my response as a personal thing, because it wasn’t at all.
I know that I myself often find myself obsequious to the cultural constructs of sexual behaviour and have to stop myself. Like can I really have a problem with Christina Aguilera’s Dirrrty album? Musically, sure. But on the basis of her slut-self representation?
Nope.
I think you do very good, very important work on a regular basis. And I appreciate it.
But in this case, the boys were wrong. They just were. And I felt I needed to say it.
Kisses to you, Shay,
CG
Well not the smartest thing to let photos be taken but… doesn’t everyone do dumb stuff I certainly have.